Itsy Bitsy Spider...

I have a long standing hatred for bugs. I don't mind RED lady bugs too much, and lightning bugs are pretty, from a distance....at night....butterflies are pretty too, and I hate Bee's (well, except for mine ;) ) and you can just forget about spiders...however, if any of them touch me, I freak out. I mean, I love camping, but my hatred for bugs is why I prefer being drunk when I camp lol!

Anyway, Bee and I live in a house that is pretty much in the woods. There is also a creek about 15 feet from the back of the house. So, as you can imagine, we are like a mecca for bugs. Specifically, right now, ants and spiders. If you know anything about these two bugs, you will know that they are arch enemies! Because the ground is drying out, we are being infested with ants. Big, black, fat-bottomed, ugly, super fast crawling ants that crunch when you squish them. Couple that with the fact there are two children running around under the age of 10 who can't seem to get food or drink, especially the kinds filled with sugar, in their mouths. It ends up on the floor, and if I am not there at that very second, the ants create a flash-mob, and swarm in. For this fact alone, the spiders in my house and I have a pact. Do your job and kill the ants, stay at least an arms length away from me, and never ever ever touch me, and you may live another spidery day.

So, this morning, I turn the shower on, undress, and step into the shower. I am immediately face to face with probably the worlds biggest daddy long legs spider! It scared me so bad I nearly jumped out of my skin! However, he was up on the wall near the shower head and he was holding onto what appeared to be a giant, silk-wrapped ant! I believe I interrupted his breakfast. So, With eyes locked firmly on him, I decided to hurry and shower and leave him be. However, he decided to high-tail it out of there (apparently, he either likes to eat alone or didn't like seeing me naked! lol) and started crawling along the wall. Well, he was dragging this massive ant with him and it was starting to get steamy and he kept losing his footing and slipping...then he'd catch himself...all while I talked to him..

"Dude. Just chill! I'll be done in like 5 minutes, then the shower is all yours! Ah! Dude! I just said....seriously, if you keep that up...ahhhh! Ok, ok, stop that! You're gonna fall! If you fall...or even touch the bathtub surround, I'm going to have to wash you down the drain...and I REALLY don't want to...looks like you've worked hard on that...hey! hey! Stay there!"

He didn't listen. He kept trying to scurry away. And, that's when it happened. He dropped his award winning kill. It hit the shower floor at the back of the shower. Now, let me just tell you, I don't know if a spider has facial expressions, or emotions...but he just stayed there..."staring" at the ground....and I could only imagine how pissed he was. If he could have smacked his spidery head, I bet you he would have. He just stayed there for like 5 minutes...just staring. Then he crawled up in the corner and I really think he was pouting!!

At that point, even though he was dangerously close to me, I couldn't kill him. I really felt bad. After I got out of the shower, he started working his way down to where his yummy breakfast lay, soaked with shower water. I think he was thinking, "I worked too damn hard for that!" Haha!

I really hope he was still able to eat it!

My Daybook #10

Today is...

May 26th, 2010

Outside My Window...

Sunny and Warm!!! It's 80 degrees today! It was 89 Degrees yesterday! Woo Hoo Early Summer!

I am Thinking...

About how wonderful this weather is, how my first day back at work was boring and I miss Jury Duty, and how I can't wait for the holiday weekend!

I am thankful for...

the beautiful weather, the ability to get caught up on a week's worth of work in one day, and that, unlike our defendant, I am on the right side of the law..

What I have learned this week...

When I get tired lately (at like, 9:00pm) I get super irritable.... just like a child...

I am wearing...

Jeans, sandals, Purple tank top, and black 3/4 length sleeved shirt. Yay! No Brown!

I am creating...

A menu in my head for the week. I wish someone would just tell me what to make! lol!

I am going...

to spend Saturday evening with BFF Rose at her house. Little Girl time. Then, Sunday we are going to her son's graduation from High School! The whole BFF Rose family will be in town!!! Yay! Then, Monday, we have the Parade for the local town we live in for Memorial Day. Bee's Football Team is walking in it, handing out candy and game tickets! Then, BBQ at Tuckers!

I am reading...

Let's face it....I'm not reading much of anything right now. LOL

I am hoping...

to spend time with all my loved ones, equally, this long weekend.

I am hearing...

my boss talking, the clock ticking it's way till 5pm!

Around the House...

Well, Kiddos had their field day today. Always an exciting day in our sports orientated house. About 7 more days of school and "C" is super excited because Bee told her she would be going to a couple Football Camps this summer and that Grandma was taking her and Little Man RV'ing this summer. Bee has the parade for Memorial day that we will be walking in, and I have BFF Rose's son's Graduation. Summer is upon us, folks. I love summer right in it's FACE, but it's also so busy. I can't wait to start hitting farmers markets, and fruits and vegetable stands that litter the roads out by Bee! There is nothing like steak on the grill, and fresh fruits and veggies on a warm summer evening!

One of my Favorite things this week...

Hmmmm...Eating lunch outside today!

A Picture Thought...

This is Bee and our "adopted Daughter". She is the kicker for the football team. She is 18 and has taken to Bee and I as "Cool older people to hang with". She calls us "Mom and Dad" LOL! (I have to keep reminding her...Bee could totally be her dad, but I would have only been 10 or 11 when she was born ;) )

Annnnd, I'm back!

Whew! What a week! I feel bad that I didn't get to update much, but between waking up at 5am, being downtown all day, and then coming home and taking care of my family, by the time I got to sit down at the computer, I was exhausted!

I ended up on a case! It was a criminal case. Our defendant was arrested and charged with Solicitation of a Police officer and possession of heroin. We found her guilty, but not until we deliberated for over two hours. After the case was over, we found out that she had a long record of drug and prostitution charges. I hope she gets the help she needs. Seriously. She has an infant daughter, and her boyfriend was willing to lie under oath for her he loves her so much. My heart just broke for her seeing her in the state she was in. She was a young girl too...

The whole jury duty experience was fun. I highly suggest that if you get called, you don't dread it. It takes you out of your element for a week, you get to meet people of all walks of life and you get to give back to your community. Plus, the court system is very interesting! Plus, if you are like me, you get to spend a week in downtown! What a beautiful city I live in! On Friday, we even had the opportunity to have the Policeman's Memorial take place. There was a parade, hundreds, and hundreds of police vehicles and mounted police. We had police from as far as Toronto, Canada. It was a wonderful way to spend my lunch that day.

As for around our house, life is pretty much status quo. Bee had his season opener on Saturday. They lost. There were lots of play calling issues. Everyone was all up in arms over it but, that just means they all need to show up to practice and work harder. Kiddos are almost done with school and are looking forward to having their summer break. We still aren't 100% on how we are going to handle childcare two days a week, but we'll figure it out.

So, that's really about it. I am still really tired from switching schedules so I think I am going to go enjoy my last day before going back to work!

My Daybook Entry #9

Today is...
May 20th, 2010


Outside My Window...
Sunny and Brisk. It should hit 80 degrees today!

I am Thinking...
About how certain things about Bee still irritate me. Such as, his ex-wife writes him love letters from prison and he does nothing about it. Won't send them back. Won't tell her to stop. Yet, doesn't like that she sends them. It's like, she is your EX WIFE. Why are you still letting her have you by the balls and control your life like you did when you were married??


I am thankful for...
having a beautiful week of weather for Jury Duty this week!!


What I have learned this week...
the older I get, the less patience I have for stupidity.


I am wearing...
Jeans, Flip Flops, Blue T-shirt, and green Windbreaker.



I am creating...
new friendships with my other jurors!

I am going...
to hopefully get on a case this week! And I am attending Bee's first game of the actual season of the game!


I am reading..."Two from Galilee" by Marjorie Holmes. Still. I am trying to find time to read, but it's hard. When I do find time to read, I find myself wanting to do other things.


I am hoping...
to get on a case!!! And, get some other pictures from downtown :)


I am hearing...
the judges calling their jurors...



Around the House...
Bee is gearing up for the first real game of the season and the kiddos are enjoying their last

few weeks of school with lots of field trips and fun stuff. I am on Jury duty and enjoying this experience again. I also am loving the fact the weather is warming up. Can't wait for summer to come!

One of my Favorite things this week...
Being on Jury Duty

A Picture Thought...

Downtown is Beautiful! I think I should come here more often lol!

OMG!

I haven't blogged since Friday! Yeah, Slacker. I know. There are a couple of reasons. One, I didn't really know what to say. Well, more like how to compose it so it would be worth reading and not just facts spewed onto my computer screen. Annd, I just wasn't feelin it, ha!

Listen, I realize I am not "old", but I am reaching an age where I am not a "young adult" anymore. I am a full on, have-way-too-many-responsibilities-to-be-immature, adult. Basically, what I am saying is holy crap, I can not party like I used to. Wait, rephrase that. I can totally party like I used to. However, the recovery period is longer, and more devastating ;)

Friday night, I was super tired. Not really sure why so, I am going to blame the weather. It's been raining and cloudy for like twenty seven weeks it seems like. So, Bee, the Kiddo's, and I stayed close to home. However, apparently house work does not do itself and my BFF Rose can't seem to find where she misplaced her magic wand that makes all things "better", so I figured since she was going to be coming over this weekend and the house was a wreck, I should probably clean. So, I did. I cleaned for two hours making it all nice and neat in the house. Kiddo's saw the look in my eye and instantly ran for their bedrooms. Bee played X-box. Whateve. I like cleaning myself anyway. Seriously. I finished up, and then made some dinner. We ate. We lounged. I had a couple glasses of wine, and then we went to bed.

Saturday started out early. Well, for Bee anyway. He woke up around seven-ish. He told me his back was hurting a lot and he couldn't lay in bed any longer (besides, to a man who wakes up at 4:45am every day, 7am is sleeping in) Usually, I will get up with him, but Saturday I was tired and said "ok" and rolled back over and went back to sleep. I made it till 9am when hearing him kill bad guys in the other room finally woke me up. Then I proceeded to get ready, because we had a fundraiser for the team to attend at noon that went alllll day.

Everyone else got ready and we were out the door by 11:30. Luckily, the weather was decent. A little chilly for my liking, by then again, I wear a jacket when it's 80. This was our Volley Ball and Corn hole Tournament fundraiser with all you can eat BBQ. This was a HUGE money maker last year. And...Well....this year? It was a total flop :( We had 80-100 people last year. This year we had about 17. Of that 17, maybe 6 guys who were players for our team showed. We had 3 players from the team we are playing this weekend, and the rest were family/friends of the players that showed up. We were so disappointed. I would really hate to hear the ear lashing the guys are going to get tonight. There is no excuse. It went from 12-9pm. I mean, you can't show and support your team for an hour? They are only hurting themselves because more money we make at fundraisers, the less that comes out of their pockets...but whatever..

BFF Rose came out though. We had a blast. We drank lots (the team got 20% of alcohol sales) and I even managed to get out and play a game of Volley Ball! I haven't played in 15 years probably. I have learned though, that I am still no good at the sport lol! After 9, we left and all went over to another player's house where we continued to drink and then went into the hot tub. After that, Bee drove us all home (he was not drunk like the rest of us). Apparently BBF Rose drunk dialed her ex-bf who has been trying to get her back for months. Told him they should be together. And somehow hers and my bathing suit bottoms ended up in her backseat (We had changed into our street clothes before leaving the house...I don't really remember that though...lol) We came home and went to bed. She crashed on the couch. (PS- The kids left waaay before the drinking started btw)

Sunday, I didn't have a headache or anything, but my tummy was upset and if I bent over, I had the spins. I hate that. I went to the store and got breakfast stuff and made breakfast for everyone. We ate and hung out and BFF Rose left around 1pm. By that time, I felt fine, but I felt as though someone zapped all my energy! I didn't even want to throw shoes on to go get my car that we left at our friends house. Bee felt the same way. We begrudgingly went and got my car and he grabbed Wendy's on the way home. After that, we did not leave our chairs. We quietly played on our laptops and watched T.V. Kiddos cleaned their rooms and hung out outside most of the day. Even when Monday rolled around, I just felt so zapped. I think I am good on drinking for awhile lol!

Monday night I finally felt like I had some energy. Bee and I grabbed the kids and went grocery shopping. We were supposed to do that Sunday, but didn't ave the energy. Afterwards, we took the kids to CiCi's for dinner. CiCi's is a treat in our house. Anytime the kids do something well, clean their rooms, or they celebrate anything, CiCi's is where we go. After dinner, we came home and the kids went to bed and we weren't too far behind them.

Today is my last day of work this week. I have been selected for Jury Duty starting tomorrow. It's for our county court of common pleas, so I am there a whole week regardless. Everyone is giving me their condolences, but really, I am excited! I was on jury duty two years ago and loved it. Wish I had gotten on a case, but none the less, the process fascinated me. I am looking forward to it and I hope I catch a case! ha!

Spotlight on "C"!

This is Bee's Middle Child, "C". She is daddy's little girl. She looks like her mom, but this girl is allll about her daddy. I have seen a few pictures of her from before her mom left, and she dressed totally different. She wore pink. Dresses, skirts, had purses, played dress up. Then again, she was 7 and 99.9% of all girls do that. However, after her mom left, she totally switched gears. She because intensely about sports, mainly football, and started wearing her older step brothers clothes. Now a days, getting this child into anything that isn't sports related is like pulling teeth. Bee wishes she would look more like a "girl". I say, let the child express herself how she wants.

Like I said, "C" is a daddy's girl to the core. She is his shadow. She wants to do everything with him and be near him as much as possible (can't say I blame her lol ;) ) In my opinion, I think that her whole love of football and the desire to play comes from the fact that he loves football and he plays. I see a lot of me as a child in her. I, just like her, was very mature for my age. If given the choice, just like her, I would rather hang out with adults or the much older kids than kids my own age.

"C" is an amazing young woman. She has gone through a lot at the ripe old age of 9 and has done it with a grace, patience, and understanding that surpasses even her fathers sometimes. When her mother found out she was going to prison, she never once mentioned it to the kids. "C" asked what was going on and "SHE" wouldn't tell her. "C" found out from the children on her bus what had happened and that not only did her mommy steal lots of money, but that she was going to prison for a long time. Then the kids teased her. Imagine finding that out, and not even from your own mother. Then, before she left, she told "C" that with her gone, she would be the woman of the house and now at 7 years old, she was responsible for her baby brother (who was 5 at the time). Making sure he took a bath, washing him, cooking, doing the laundry, making sure the house was clean etc (meanwhile, SHE never did any of that, so I don't know why she was asking "C" to do it).

C" is such a good kid. She is such a big help to me, Bee, and her brother. She is wise beyond her years. She gets straight "A's", and is always offering to help. If you ask her to take the trash out, or any other chore, she hardly ever talks back or even rolls her eyes. She just simply jumps to it. She is very respectful, smart, witty, and even funny. She is the idol of her little brother (though little man doesn't like to always admit it). And while they do fight and bicker as all siblings do, I have yet to meet a pair that are closer and more protective of each other than these two.

When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, her response is "I want to play for the Steeler's. Then, when I am done I want to be in the Army and fly planes or be a policewoman". Ah, big dreams, my girl. I like that and I hope I can be there to see you achieve them all!!

I Love this little girl because....

She is a wonderful Big sister who always helps out her Little Brother

just like her father, she has a love for the game of Football that is pure and true.

She is not afraid of being the only girl out there, or playing a sport with and against all boys. She has no fear and doesn't care what others think of her.

She is a natural leader. Kids naturally turn to her for what to do next. She is always leads with patience and kindness.

She is Daddy's little munchkin and she loves and adores her father. She has a respect for him that he will be hard pressed to find anywhere else. He will always be a hero in her eyes.

My Daybook Entry #8

Today is...
May 12th, 2010


Outside My Window...
Cold and rainy. We are at about 49 degrees now, but according to the weather report, we'll see 58 degrees today.


I am Thinking...
about how this weather makes me sleepy! About how I can't wait to see my BFF Rose on Saturday, and how I don't think I have looked forward to a payday as much as I have looked forward to this one in a while! And lastly, how I can't wait for my vacation in July to Arizona!



I am thankful for...
this large cup of coffee I am drinking this morning...and payday on Friday.


What I have learned this week...
That even smart people can be really dumb at times :) I have no patience for lack of organization. How much it's going to cost to make my mouth "perfect" again...and it's not pretty..



I am wearing...
jeans, brown sandals, brown tank top, orange-ish zip up hoodie. Yes, it did strike me today that it was Wednesday today and I was putting on mostly brown. However, I only have so many clothes at Bee's and I am working with what I have..




I am creating...
a scrapbook/photo album of my pictures from Montreal from when I went over New Years and am going to send one to my friend Soizic with whom I stayed with!

I am going...
to bed early tonight. I am sleepy! As for the weekend, I am going to the team fundraiser that was postponed from two weeks ago. Bee plans on leaving and coming back to go to a game. I think I am going to stay and have girl time with the BFF Rose!


I am reading..."Two from Galilee" by Marjorie Holmes. Still. I am trying to find time to read, but it's hard. When I do find time to read, I find myself wanting to do other things.


I am hoping...
to get to bed early tonight and that I get all the work done at work that I am setting out to do today.




I am hearing...
my play list playing on my computer in the background. Right now, Train's "Hey Soul Sister" is on :)



Around the House...
Bee and I are starting to talk about our trip to Arizona. We are going the first week in July. We are going to visit with my family out there, try to get a few interviews, look at a few places to live, and then at night go sightseeing. The kids are getting ready to finish up school here in about 3 weeks. They are tie-dying t-shirts for field day. "C" and Little man asked if I was going to come watch their field day (Which is open to parents). They asked me last year too. I was going to go last year too, but then their Grandma on their mom's side decided SHE was going, so I didn't take the time off from work. At the last minute, Grandma "S" backed out and didn't go. By then, it was too late (as in, like an hour before the event was starting). Luckily, Grandma Bee doesn't give a shit and was planning on being there anyway, so they at least had her there. I love Grandma Bee :D We are still in need of summer childcare for two days a week. Trying to get "J", to do it, but her mom won't let her, or so she says. I think she just doesn't want to. I can't say I blame her. At 16, I didn't want to watch my sister and brother. Even if my parents paid me, which they did....most days I felt the money wasn't worth the effort I had to put in. Football officially starts May 22nd. Then I officially lose my summer. Then again, I don't really mind. It's something to do :)

One of my Favorite things this week...
Cuddling and snoozing together in Bee's chair Saturday night after a long day...

A Picture Thought...
Soizic (Pronounced Swa-Zeek) from when I went to go visit her in Montreal over New Years. I miss that Chicqa. :)

Marriage on the brain..

So, Bee told me two days before Valentines day that had he had an extra hour between leaving work and me showing up at his house, he would have been adding a marriage proposal to his plea that we should get back together. Since then, we've talked about the topic quite a bit. We both know that that is where we want to end up. Without a doubt, we both know that we are meant for each other and that marriage will be the next step in our relationship. However, when, and on who's timetable are a different thing.

Bee is 40 years old. He has three kids. He has been engaged three times and married once. He's been there. Done that. In Fact, his Divorce only became "final" in March. He is happy now, and knows we will be together forever so he is in no big rush. I am confident in him and our relationship, especially considering he is willing to move to the other side of the Country with me. To him, it will happen someday. Someday when he gets around to doing it.

Me, on the other hand, I feel this internal drive. This need, if you will. I am 29. I'll be 30 in November. Growing up, I always imagined myself married with several kids by now. I feel like I am behind the eight ball. Like all my peers are passing me by. I know that marriage and children are a totally serious commitment and it should be based on when you are your partner are ready, not on what everyone else is doing. I get that. I do. But, I can't help but feel impatient. I feel like he wants to, but just doesn't really care when and I'm like if you don't care, then what are we waiting for because I am ready now.

At the beginning of March, we got on the topic of our wedding one night after the kids went to bed. At the time, his divorce was still pending. He said something to the fact that he just assumed that since we both agreed that we wanted to get married we would wander into a mall someday and buy a ring we liked and just "get married" whenever and that he already just kind of assumed that we were in that mind set. I informed him he needed to formally ask me! To which he replied, first with a heavy sigh and an eye roll, "Well, do you wanna?". At that point I told him to ask me when he meant it but that he had to be divorced first and follow the asking with a ring...a real one...not the one he fashioned out of a bread tie.

Since then, his divorce has been finalized and I'm waiting. I'm impatient, I know. I am trying not to rush him or make him think I am in a rush because when he does propose, I want it to be because he wants to, not because he thinks he has to. Yet, it's hard to see the people around me get married and start their families. Bee's brother got engaged last September/October and their wedding is going to be this October so, there is planning for that. Then, my high school best friend got engaged on Saturday. People I went to school with are getting engaged and starting to have babies. These are the two things I have wanted most out of life and I just feel like I've done the hard part of finding the one I want to be with, the rest should be easy!

Then, since this has been on my mind lately, I am even dreaming about it now! haha! Last night, I dreamt that we had gotten married and we were at the reception and Bee's Grooms Cake was a Bee cake. Like, it was shaped like a bee and decorated like one. It was soooo cute. I told him about it this morning and he laughed. He said that we should totally have one made for his grooms cake and that he wants to get married in a black and gold tux. Which, I was totally down for and I even found my brides maid dresses! It would make his day anyway because he (as well as myself) is a huge Steelers fan and he can tell people I let him have Steelers colors. haha! So, now I have a color scheme if and when he gets off his butt and asks me to marry him lol!

The funny thing is, I don't want a big extravagant wedding. I won't be a bridezilla and I don't need fancy lavish things. I just want a simple church wedding with maybe 50-70 people, if that. I don't even care if people bring us gifts. In fact, I might request they don't. Then, maybe have the reception at our friends house who have a large property where we could set up food/BBQ, have the pool and hot tub, people drink, swim, play, enjoy the day and the sunshine. That's it.

Ah well. It will happen....eventually. I just need to be patient I suppose. Although, he told me last night we can't have children because they will come out stupid. He took my car to Walmart and came out looking for his truck. Freaked out because he couldn't find it, even after hitting the panic button on his key. He got so upset he almost started to cry and go into a panic attack before it dawned on him that he had my car...

great, another "fight" on my hands... LOL! I told him "Stupid or not, I am having your baby!"

hahaha!

My boyfriend is a dork...

This is what I put up with on a daily basis....(yes, he has shorts on)

But I love him because of, and in spite of, his dorkyness :)

Happy Mother's Day!!

Yeah, I know. I am a day late. Story of my life, you know.... lol

So, our weekend went by way too fast. It had it's ups and downs, but in the end, turned out fine.
Friday night, I got home and Bee loaded us all up in the car and we went to go pick up his 16 year old, "J". We got out to her house, and as usual, she wasn't ready. But that was partly because she didn't know we were coming. I can't say I blame her. Even I can't always follow this shared parenting schedule. After we picked her up, we headed home and just stayed in for the night.

Saturday morning we woke up when my alarm went off at 8am. Bee had a game in Pittsburgh and we still had a lot to do yet to prepare. He got up and started getting ready. I slept till 9am. I was so tired and with the weather report of rain, wind gusts up to 40mph, and temps in the low 50's, I wasn't feelin it. Finally, I rolled out of bed and went into the living room to join the family. The kids were hungry and "J" offered to make eggs. Now, on one hand, it's a help to me, because I don't have to. However, whenever "J" cooks, she destroys the kitchen (She may be 16, but 16 is still a "kid", and I can remember being 16 and not caring about the clean up process part of cooking) So, I would have to clean up after her anyway. At least to clean it to my standards. Plus, the kiddos wanted bacon too, and "J" doesn't know how to cook bacon (really, she's afraid of it...which I totally understand THAT too...I wouldn't cook it either until about a year ago) So, I went in to help make breakfast. By the time that was done, we all ate, and I got ready, it was time to go.

That's about went the day went down hill. I was irritated and not in a good mood. Listen, I am fully aware that I need to learn to let things go sometimes. Ok, most times, but at the same time, I had a right to be upset. Also, one key bit of information about me is that I don't hold grudges for the most part. If you snap at me, or yell at me and hurt my feelings, if you give me a hug and a "I'm sorry" and mean it? It's done and over with and I have already forgotten the incident. However, that didn't happen Saturday until the end of the day.

I can not STAND lack of organization. I can not STAND being rushed around and then waiting. Bee knew guys needed a ride to Pittsburgh. As usual, we all offered to carpool. Bee borrowed another player's Yukon (the guy couldn't go. His son was going to Prom and the after party was at his house). He gave away all the seats and told me I was going to have to drive me and the kids. Ok, I get it, but it still upset me. Then, he told people that needed rides, were to meet him at the practice field and somehow work it out to get there because he wasn't going to traipse around town picking everyone up at home. Then he told them to be at the field at 11:30am. Now, even though, it was going to be me and the kids in my car, I had to go to the field too. JUST IN CASE a guy shows up and needs a ride, they would have a place to stick him. My thoughts? You should know by THAT morning if you need a ride, and should let someone know before and not just show up. But whatever. The practice field is 35 minuets in the opposite direction of where we needed to be and I didn't have much gas to begin with. We got there at 11:15. Bee didn't show till 12:45. Why? Yeah. He was picking everyone up at home. Then, the guys who did come to the field didn't start showing until 12:15...He was crabby. He snapped at me several times. Barked orders at me. It also pisses me off when I am left out of the plans. As in, Everyone else knows what we are doing, where we are going, except me. I find out on a need to know basis....like the kids...and that pisses me off to no end. So, we get on the road.

I am tired, cold, crampy (oh yeah, THAT too..), I have three kids in my car who have already been cramped up in my small little Civic for an hour and a half. They are whining that they are hot/cold/tired/bored/hungry/thirsty oh-my-god-are-we-there-yet, and we haven't even left yet. Not to mention, it's raining cats and dogs and I have to pee...AGAIN. Needles to say, it was not fun times in my car. Finally, after an hour of stewing and having my eyeballs float, I call Bee to tell him I was turning off to go to the bathroom and I would meet him there. His phone rang twice and it went to voicemail. I threw my phone and turned off. We went pee in an ugly, smelly outhouse (welcome to the Country, ya'll) and got back on the road. While I was pissed off, I am forever still considerate. I sent Bee a text telling him I would meet him there. Had to pee. blah.

I get frustrated with my outdated GPS (I have a better one on my phone that I pay to have unlimited access to, but it's kinda slow and the signal is weak, so like one cloud out and I am doomed). However, it did ok with directions until I hit Pittsburgh. Once I got in the city, the roads were too close together and it couldn't update fast enough and I had to turn around twice which only added to my frustration. Oh, and I had to pee...AGAIN. We FINALLY make it, and oddly enough, I beat Bee there. There are no bathrooms and I don't go in the woods. Bee got there. Snapped a few more times at me and I took my stuff and went to the stands to film. The game starts and the tape isn't rewound. I missed the first two plays. I'm steaming. It rains, it pours, the wind kicks up, flipped my umbrella, I had to miss three more plays to deal with that. Air Raid sirens went off ( I hear there was a tornado spotted near by). Our guys lose. 0-7. However, Bee made it there with all his guys, and he played so his mood is instantly improved. Mine is not. I snap at him. I feel bad, I apologize. I feel better. Then we hit the road and eventually stop for dinner and get greets me inside with a big smile and my heart melts and I feel better.

We get home, finally, and it's late. Kiddos hit the hay. I wait for Bee to finish dropping people off. He gets home and we cuddle up in his chair under the blanket and he asks me why I was so upset today. I tell him and he apologizes again and I was fine and over it. We spent the rest of the night cuddled, watching YouTube videos and "Nerd T.V" Eventually we fell asleep in the chair and at some point got up and got in bed.

Sunday we slept in and relaxed most of the day. Then we went and got his mom and met up with my whole family for dinner. It was really nice! The only down side is, being that it was Mother's day, it really got me thinking about me and Bee. How I want to get married, had kids of my own and kinda want to start on that soon. I want to be a mommy. A REAL mommy. Sure, I love his kids. I always will and that will never change. But, I want my own to have that special bond with. That feeling was intensified last night when I found out my best friend from when I was in high school got engaged this weekend. There was always an unspoken rivalry between us even though we were friends. We were 6 days apart. She was older and wanted to be the first to do everything (lose her virginity, get her license, have a boyfriend etc) but I was the more open, less bitchy, "prettier" one, so, I got to do all those things before her..and I always just kinda felt like I would be married with kids before her....but I guess not...

Oh well. This has turned into a long rambling post. Ha! All in all, it was a good weekend. Not anywhere near long enough and I was up waaayy too late last night and now today I am dragging. Bee and I both agreed, tonight it's early to bed!!

Spotlight on Little Man!

This is my Little Man. Sure, a lot of people calls their son that, but I call him "Little Man" because he really is like a Little Man. I love this little boy. You know, I am not saying this to pat myself on the back, but merely state a fact: Raising other people's kids is hard. It's a fine line to walk. On one hand, his dad needs help raising him and his sister. So, you step up and do the things a mom would do to give this boy a balanced upbringing. On the other hand, he HAS a REAL mom, and you can't take that away.....even though you want to because you think she is a worthless piece of shit. It's hard. But Him and his sister are worth it.

This little man is only 7. Yet, I see signs of him already surpassing his 9 year old sister, who herself, has skipped a grade, in the learning department. He is always asking questions, paying close attention and not forgetting your answers. He watches closely when someone is doing something and will mimic it until he gets it right. Last night he asks me, "Have you ever been married? Do you want kids someday? Are you going to marry my dad? Could you please give me a baby brother or sister? I prefer a brother though. That way, I can show him how to play cars". When Bee and I were dating the first time around, Little Man was having a problem with reading. He didn't do it very well, now, just 6 months later, he is reading and comprehending books his older sister brings home. He is the only child I know who asks for math workbooks at Walmart and works in them diligently. He will watch T.V. with you, listen to a conversation you are having, or just plain look around the room, and name things off tell you how many letters are in each word, and then spell said word to you. 99.9% of the time, he is dead on.

Along with being smart, he is the most lovable little boy, once he gets to know you of course. :) He is shy and doesn't like to talk to people if he doesn't know them. However, once he knows you, he will gladly show you what a smart, funny, thoughtful, and silly little boy he can be :) I hope someday I have a little boy and if he grows up to be anything like Little Man, he will be a lucky little boy. :) I am honored to help raise this Little Man into a Smart, Kind, Loving, thoughtful, Respectful, BIG man someday!

I love this little guy because....

He is really good at climbing fences....even if he knows he's not supposed to...

Unlike his Daddy, he brings me flowers....and just because...

....And when I am sick, to make me "feel better"

He has a sense of style that can't be beat!

Makes me laugh when he is being silly. Especially when he asked for this picture to be taken and after seeing the results tells me, "Look! I am in jail, just like my mom!"

He is the best at sliding "so slow, that it looks like I am not even sliding at all!!"

He is great at faking being dead...

he is really good at "scaring" me while pretending to be a zombie...

He is the cutest little man I have the blessing of knowing and I am honored to be in his life.

My Reasons to Smile....

These Kiddos: We are walking into Latch Key today and when they get out of the car, I noticed their outfits. They claim it was not done on purpose. I laughed, called them dorks, and then like the huge dork I am, I made them pose.

This Guy and HIS Smile: Looking at this face is the highlight of my day. His smile makes everything better!

Spending time with a Ninja: She knows just what to say, when to say it...or when to say nothing at all...

My Daybook Entry #7

Today is...
May 5th, 2010 - Cinqo De Mayo!


Outside My Window...
Sunny and warm. Right now we are in the mid 60's, but it's supposed to top out at 80 today!! Too bad it won't be this nice on Saturday when I'll be outside at Bee's game (60 and rainy :/ )



I am Thinking...
About how I need to let things go sometimes and not let them bother me so much. It's just hard though when you are in the moment and feeling wronged, or that an injustice has been done to you. Also, how on Sunday we are going to have a Huge clan going out to Dinner for Mommy's day. There's going to be Me, Bee, Grandma Bee (as in, Bee's mom, kid's grandma) "J" the 16 year old, "C", Little Man, Mom, Dad, Sis, Brother, His girlfriend and their two kiddos, and possibly BBF Rose and her son and another couple and their two wee ones. Wow! I am also thinking about how I really want to try the "Bouncy Bar" they were talking about on the radio. Ooo! and, how I want a morning margarita! And, who's gay? There was supposed to be some star that was coming out of the closet today...still haven't heard who it was yet!



I am thankful for...
The fact the plumber was able to fix the blockage on Friday, The Sun and warm weather today. Bee, Kiddos, family, and my mommy.


What I have learned this week...
That Volcano's, when they erupt, create their own weather systems!



I am wearing...
Green Camo fluffy flip flops, denim Capri's, pink tank top, brown button up sweater. Wednesday must be my day for brown. I am always wearing something brown... lol


I am creating...
Hopefully soon I will be creating buttons and key-chains for Bee's team to sell at games with the other owners wife! :)


I am going...
To Pittsburgh on Saturday for Bee's game! I love Pittsburgh. I would move there if it weren't for the fact their job market is worse than the one here and it's just as cold. I am trying to move towards warmth!


I am reading..."Two from Galilee" by Marjorie Holmes. Still. I am trying to find time to read, but it's hard. When I do find time to read, I find myself wanting to do other things.


I am hoping...
to finish cleaning the basement. The one thing good about this whole plumbing issue is that it has gotten Bee to start thinking about cleaning the rest of the basement! I am also hoping to give myself a pedicure tonight.


I am hearing...
Rhianna's "Rude Boy". I don't know why. It's probably because it's on the radio so much that I probably hear it 4 times on my way to work.



Around the House...
Kiddo's are enjoying Latch Key. In fact, they asked if they could start going early. When asked "how early is early?" They responded with 7am. These kids want to wake up at 6am so they can go to Latch Key at 7am. Holy S...We wake up at 7am now. I told them they could go at 6:45am if they just give me about a week and a half. I have Jury Duty starting May 19th. I have to be downtown by 8am and it's going to take me at least an hour drive time. That seemed to satisfy them. Bee is always a busy Bee, but even more so now with ordering uniforms, practices twice a week and pre-season games on Saturdays, fielding calls from players, plus working a full time job, it seems he is always going, going, going! As for me, I am trying to spend quality time with him and the kids, attend their various events, spend time with family, and my BFF Rose. It would be soooo much easier if the latter two were closer.


One of my Favorite things this week...
Seeing my BFF Rose, even if it wasn't how we had intended to spend time together, it was still nice and probably more fun (and cheaper) than if we would have done what we had originally planned. Oh, and getting my "just cuz" present from Bee :)


A Picture Thought...

Even at the ripe ole age of four, I was a sexy beast and knew how to work it for the camera. This was when I was in my "I want to be He-Man when I grow up" phase.. (it's a picture of a picture because we don't have a scanner..sorry if it's a little blurry..)

"Just Cuz"

Friday night while we were down in the basement dealing with the plumbing issues, there was a giant bumble bee buzzing around. Bee smacked it down, killing it instantly. Yesterday night, while we were down in the basement cleaning up the aftermath (still), I saw the little guy's carcass lying on the floor. I picked him up and threw him away making the comment that I just gave his brethren a proper burial. Well, at least more proper than he did just leaving him to rot where he died. That's when Bee's eyes lit up and he said,



"Baby! I just remembered! I have a present for you!"

To which I exclaimed,

"ooh! Yay! I loooove Presents!"



Him and Grandma Bee had gone out for frozen custard after he got out of work yesterday. They had one of those claw game things and he played and won me a present!

It's a picture frame in the "face" section! I have a bunch of pictures at my apartment and next time I go there, I am going to pick one to be encased in this guy. Until then, I have one of Bee's football pictures in there. He was so proud of his gift :) When I asked how he won it, because those claw games are hard, his response was "Just cuz I was thinking of you!"

Awww! I love my Bee! :)