Aftermath

Well, it's been 24 hours.

My heart is so heavy, I feel it may collapse.

While it did not happen at my kid's school, we are a neighboring town
and kid's get all emotional and do irrational things. Therefore, as of
yesterday at 9am, our schools are in lockdown as well. There were at
least 4 or 5 police officers milling about at the high school where I
dropped J off this morning.

As time passes, more and more information is made available. One child
passed away yesterday mid-morning. Another was placed on life support
yesterday afternoon, and pronounced brain dead around 4pm yesterday.
This morning, his parents made the hard choice of taking him off the
life support. He died shortly there after. We have just heard a 3rd in
in critical condition and things don't look good.

I was heart broken after Colombine 13 years ago. Now? As a parent? I
am devistated. I can't help think "What if it were my kids? Our
school?" and then I don't want to let them out of the door. But, I
have to. I have been praying non-stop for Bee and his brother who both
graduated from Chardon and are taking this very hard. Most of our
friends are either from there, or still reside there raising their
families. I have been praying for all the citizens of Chardon who are
now have their sleepy, safe little town forever on the map. Their
community has been rocked to it's foundation. I pray for the families
of the victims who's children will forever be changed, and for two
families, will never come home from school. I also pray for T.J. Lane
(the shooter) and his family. They too, have suffered a loss. Their
child will not be coming home from school either, but for a different
reason. They must suffer alone as a community comes together.

I am wearing my black and red in support, today....

As for my kids. Little man is for the most part, unaffected. They did
not tell the little ones. I am assuming today they will talk about it
a little bit since they have all had a chance to come home and talk to
mom and dad first. C, was upset and a little scared, but had questions
most of all, and J...well she was most upset. I figured as much, since
she is older. She also tends to hang out with loner types and I think
it may have hit home for her. She was upset for another reason as
well. Her best friend is a student at Chardon. When she finally got a
hold of her yesterday, T told her that she was sitting at the table
right next to the table the shooter was sitting at. She was sitting
facing him, so when he stood up, drew his pistol, and started
shooting, she had a front row seat. T is not doing very well. She
can't sleep. Can't eat, and can't stop crying. Her brother, was good
friends with the young man who was just taken off life support today.
He would have been sitting next to him at that table had he not made
it all the way to the cafeteria, only to have to turn back because he
had left something in his locker. He made it back in time to see the
boy stand up and shoot his friend.

My kids are good kids. My kids live in a good neighborhood and attend
a good school. Just like Chardon. In fact, it is a LOT like Chardon.
They shouldn't have to be afraid to go to school. No kid should.