Five Years

Hi.

Wow, it's been a long time.

5 years. Five. A lot has happened to my little hive.

I have really missed writing in my blog. No one ever really read this. Mainly because I didn't share it with my facebook people because I wanted a place I could come and vent my feelings without hurting any one's else's feelings. I wanted a place where I could bitch about my kids' bio-mom without starting some massive drama. This blog may have had few readers but, it accomplished everything I wanted it to, and more. Best part? Today, almost nine years after starting it, I can go back and read the mundane day to day details I faced as a insta-mommy and newlywed! It's amazing. I have grown SO much since then. I've changed a lot, too. However, I also wish I could go back to a lot of that :D

So what's the haps? What's new?

Well, my last post here was June of 2013. In July of 2013, I lost my mama. She passed away of what was officially called "Valley Fever". That is what ended up actually killing her. However, the real issue was she didn't take care of herself. She smoked like a chimney. She had heart disease, C.O.P.D, and diabetes that she all but ignored. She got sick with the flu on the way home from my wedding in January of 2013. She ended up in the hospital where she contracted MERSA She got well enough to come home and was on the mend when she fell in late February 2013 and broke her shoulder. My dad is older and couldn't pick her up, so they had to call the ambulance. They took her to the hospital where she stayed a few weeks to see if they were going to do surgery or let it heal itself (doctors said the feared she was too weak for surgery). She ended up with MERSA again. She finally came home but her spirit had already given up. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't get out of bed. After several weeks, she started to get bad bed sores so the home health care nurse had her sent back to the hospital. She coded a few times. Ended up on a ventilator. She held on for the next 3 months until my dad finally got on board with letting her just pass (she BEGGED him for several weeks to just let her go to hospice). My sister and brother and I made it out to Arizona the day before she passed. We were with her in her final moments and while she had very little mental clarity while we were here, there were moments she was fully with us and knew we were there. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it and pointed to my ring and her heart letting me know she loved Bee and the kiddos. It was really hard. hardest thing I ever had to do.  Shortly after she had passed, my sister and her then boyfriend decided to move out  to Arizona to be close to my dad. Now that mom had passed, he was alone. I was happy he would at least have someone out here to kinda keep and eye on him.

Then, in January 2014 Bee and I were SUPER excited to find out we would be adding another little bee to our hive. On October 2nd, 2014 Jackson Zebadiah Brown (he can thank his daddy for that middle name and be THANKFUL mama convinced him to let it be a middle name instead of his first name :D) He has been the final piece we had been missing. He is beautiful, smart (oh LORD is he smart!), silly, independent, bull-headed, and ALL BOY. He has no fear, and is completely NOT like my other 2 children. He is feral. LOL I kid...but not really. Watching him grow up these last 4 years and getting to be his mama have been a HUGE blessing. Exhausting, but a blessing none the less.

In February of 2015, we decided to fly out to Arizona as a family vacation to visit my dad, sister, and aunt's and cousin's we have out there. My dad had flown home to be with me for Jackson's birth but, I knew if WE didn't come out and visit, my sister, aunt's, and cousin would probably never get to meet Jackson (or "Beboo" as we call him :D) We left Cleveland in the middle of a huge blizzard and freezing cold temperatures. It was February in Tucson which meant that the mornings and evening were in the 50's and the day time it warmed up to mid 70's low 80's. With zero humidity, that made it HEAVEN on Earth for my little family. We had been on the ground in Arizona about 7 hours when Bee looked at me and said, "I feel GREAT. I don't hurt. I can actually MOVE!" He declared right then and there he wanted to move to Tucson. I told him I was down. Get a job out there and we will make it happen. Well, by April 2015, he had a job in Tucson. He packed as much as he could into a 1995 Jeep Wrangler and drove across country to stay with my dad and save some money. I stayed behind with the kids and packed up the house and waited until school was out for the Summer  and on May 28th, We loaded what we could and my dad drove the moving truck and I drove the SUV and we left behind everything we knew and everyone we knew and embarked on a new adventure.

We lived with my dad for a few months and then found a house to rent. We rented for one year and then BOUGHT OUR FIRST HOUSE! Well, MY first house. This is like, house number 4 for Bee  :D
We have been in our house for a little over 2 years. We found a decent high school for the kids. C graduated this past May. She is working for In-And-Out burger. She makes REALLY good money (she makes quite a bit more than me!!) She still lives at home. She tried living on her own but she moved in with someone she was dating and the relationship turned sour so she came home. However, we never see her. She is always working or with friends. She might stop by for 5-10 minutes to grab some clothes...or to visit her baby brother (who ADORES her. They are thick as thieves) but she is happy and 18 and living her best life. If SHE is happy then, *I* am happy.

Little man however, is not so little anymore :D He is 6'1 and 225 lbs! He still plays football. In fact, he started this year on the JV team but, after 2 games, he was promoted to Varsity and after one varsity game, he was a starter!! Pretty good considering the only other sophomore on the varsity squad was the QB who helped take the team to the semi-finals this year (if they had won, they would have played for the state championship). He no longer plays basketball but he works out all year to stay in shape for football. His voice is deep and most times I can't tell who is speaking, Bee or him. He is a wonderful big brother and Jackson loves "beating up" on "dak". He will be driving soon and what hair I have left that is NOT grey will be soon ;) .

As for Bee and I, we will be celebrating 10 years together and 6 of those years as a married couple this year. I don't handle change very well and even though I wanted to move out here just as much as he did, I didn't handle the change all that great. It's been a rough couple of years. I had a hard time finding a job. I LOVED my job in Ohio. That place was like a sparkling unicorn. One in a million place to work. It had it's ups and downs, but they treated us employees REALLY well. That place was my FAMILY after 8 years and it was super hard leaving them and no place will ever compare. I have had to start all over in terms of pay scale which was REALLY hard to swallow but if I was going to work, which we found out QUICKLY that I needed to, then it was just something I was going to have to deal with. I have found a job that I like, is not soul sucking, and seems like it could become the like the family I had to leave behind at my old job. The pay is...well...GOD do I miss my pay checks (and bonuses :D  )  from my job in Ohio but, I don't plan on going anywhere and I will move up and the pay will become better. In the mean time, it helps pay the bills which is good.

Bee has found a wonderful job driving a cement truck. They LOVE him and treat him really well. He found his work family quickly. His boss is a lot like the boss he had back in Ohio. A good, honest dude. Bee treats the company well and respects them in everything he does. His professionalism shines through in everything he does and in that industry, let a lone his company, that is rare. They treat him amazing in return. Which, considering I took almost $25 K  year pay cut, is a VERY good thing LOL. My husband works REALLY hard and I am very lucky. As I said, I did not handle the change to being out here very well and the last couple of years were rough. However, what HASN'T changed is that I love that man with everything I have and everything I am. Your valley's are what make your mountain top's that much better. We have been through the ringer but we have only come out of all of it that much stronger and that, to me, is what living your vows is all about.

Well, this update has been long enough LOL. I think this will conclude this entry for today. However, I plan to keep up with this again. I would like to post at LEAST once a week. Possibly more?

Until next time!