Thursday, September 30, 2010
Nevermind that shaking of the camera torwds the end....That would be me...forgetting that I was in fact filming, so I started to dance. A knat people. Attention span of a knat...
Here's the rest of the Chorus...and the lovely flag girls! Go Flags!
Yeah, I pretty much have a secret obsession with Marching Bands. I was in marching band in high school. I thought, and still do, that it was preeeety much the coolest thing around. However, I won't admit that outside of this blog. Clarinets, Holla!
Wow. My Nerd-dom just out shone anything that Bee could ever do or say ;)
So, this was our night.
C plays football for the city legue one town over. It's the town we used to live in. It's also a huge rival of the town we currently live in.
Anyway, Riverside's homecoming parade was tonight. Because C plays for their youth legue, she walked in the parade with her daddy. J and Little Man and I stood on the parade route and collected candy/ Oh my WORD the candy! It was like practice for Halloween!
Thats so not gonna help my diet..
I leave you with pictures!
I just Changed things up a bit, moved some things around, put out my fall blog stuff. I need to do that at home! Tomorrow is October 1st and I have NOT one fall-like thing out. My Un-decorated house mocks me!
I also changed my web address thing. And my profile picture. And my profile name.
When I started this blog back in March, I was afraid if I used real pictures, my real name, or what have you, everyone I know in my daily life would find out about this place, invade it, and make it so I didn't want to post how I really felt, which is why I started this little slice of "me" in the first place. I was also afraid of Bee not wanting me to "air" our life. I have found out, that no one in my "real life" cares. At all. Not one bit. I mention "yeah, I blogged about that today..." and NOTHING. Not an "Oh!" or "can I read your blog?!" in the bunch. Whatever.
I was also afraid of my band of stalkers. Yes. I have a few. There is the ex-wife's mother. She has been known to hunt me down on the interwebs and print pages and pictures off my facebook and Myspace (ha! Who has one of those anymore?!) and send them to her daughter in prison. Now a-days I go with Bee to drop the kids off. She can just take one then. Here, I'll pose with your kids. Smile! Ennnd Scene!
Then, there is Bee's Ex girlfriend (after the ex wife, but riiiight before me.) And his "best friend". Well, he called her that when we first got together. Not so much anymore. Anyway, they both hate each other, but bond over the fact that they both hate me more. They like to take things I say, pictures I post, and openly mock them on Bee's facebook. Yeah, they're real gems. They're also like 40. I find it odd that I am the youngest out of his ex's, in laws, and "friends", yet I'm the mature one...
Moving on....So, I have had the blog for over 6 months. I have brought it up in conversation, left it up on my computer screen and walked away, and so far the world has not imploded. I have also posted pictures of the kids, Bee, and myself and nothing has happened. Bee knows of my blog and all of it's bloggy-ness, and really doesn't care. I guess he figures if I have it, it's less stuff he has to hear me run my yap about ;) He can barely muster the gumption to make it look like he is really interested when I speak about my hair, shoes, and decorating ideas, I really think he doesn't want to read about them in my rambling blog.
Thus, changes have been made....
Also, when I started, I kinda winged it. Over time, I kinda took on the moniker of "Monkee" (Bee 's pet name for me) and I call him "Bee"(my pet name for him), so "Monkee and the Bee" was born. It made no sense to keep it kitty-kitty-boom-boom anymore. Besides, that's really annoying to type..and It makes me kinda feel like an old stripper with really bad red lipstick ;)
I still plan on using initials for names of the kids. Mainly because they're, well, kids, and I don't feel comfortable putting their names out on the wild world of the Internet. As for Bee, well, his real name is Mike but, Monkee and the Mike? Just doesn't have the same ring to it ;)
I hope you like the new look. I will try to be slightly more interesting. I can't promise more than that ;)
That's right! This weeks list is totally random!
Oh, I'm outta control! And Lazy.
Very, Very, lazy... Ok, on with it...
- I am bored with my blog. Not writing in it, just bored with the way it looks, and my writing in general. I think I need to start setting aside time to really work on posts instead of "Today-is-Tuesday. We-Went-to-the-store. It-was-fun. Then-we-went-home. The-end" I read some blogs, and they are so put together. They actually make me laugh out loud! Then, I come back here and read my stuff and I want to hide because I feel the lame-ness from it oozing all over me.
- Next weekend, Bee's brother is getting married. I asked Little Man if he was going to dance with me. He smiled and said "No. Probably not." I asked him if he was going to dance with "Miss A" (The Bride) He smiled and said "No. Probably not." I asked if he would dance with Uncle M (The Groom) or Grandma Bee. He smiled again and said "No. Probably not." I said, "Well, I think you should. I think you should strap on your dancin' shoes and boogie all night long." He looked at me with a really serious look and said, "I don't have "dancing" shoes!"
- I have no idea how I am going to decorate my house for fall. However, my house was made for decorating and the pressure it's putting on me is astronomical. (I have issues. I know. )
- "C"'s football team is 4-0. Undefeated. All of the rest of their regular season games are against teams that, as the coaches say, "we aren't too worried about". Which makes me nervous. I sit through every game on the edge of my seat because we CAN NOT lose our undefeated status, and we CAN NOT lose it to a totally "beat-able" team, because then what would people say? (Yes. Issues.)
- Even though I feel that way, win or lose, I always tell "C" what a great job she did..and I am not one of those parents who starts fights in the stands.
- I am already planning Thanksgiving dinner in my head. It will be a glorious day of football and food.
- I plan on buying myself a membership to the community fitness center. My Pregnant friend Amy, and I plan on "working out" every day. I say "working out" because there is only so much she can do, and I really have the attention span of a knat, so...we'll see.
- Along with this "exercise" program, I would like to start making healthier food. It's kinda hard though because Bee and I do not go to the store weekly, or bi-weekly. We go on a need basis. It's also rarely planned, and we are hardly ever together. It's more like, I come home from work and there's three bags from Giant Eagle or Walmart and he says "Oh, I stopped and got milk, eggs, bread, and a few other things. It's like, thanks for letting me know you were going...I have a list!
- I need some good recipes for fall and winter. Coming up with something for dinner that is not going to take me six years to make, AND that everyone will eat, is hard.
- BFF Rose. I miss her.
- I need a vacation. I am really hoping Grandma Bee can watch the kiddos when Bee has his game in West V. We can turn it into a weekend get-away!
- My Photography class is coming up. I'm very excited! I need to get out and take pictures of the leaves and soon! They are so pretty by my house
- Halloween. I am STOKED! I am totally going to hand out candy...at my own house....first time EVER!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Outside My Window...
I am thankful for...
What I have learned this week...
I am wearing...
I am creating...
I am reading...
I am hoping...
I am hearing...
One of my Favorite things this week...
A Picture Thought...
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I am feeling bad because I got mad yesterday and pulled a very adult move, and didn't speak to the children unless I had to. I also, may or may not have slammed some cupboards and plates around as I was getting them dinner. Then, even though I was happy and go lucky last night from around 7:30pm on, they were in their rooms by then doing their own thing. I also tried to not be upset this morning and let it go, but then "J" lied to me over something so completely stupid and un-lie-worthy, that it set me off and I went into a tirade for about 13 minutes. Then breakfast was silent. I did manage a half believable I'm-sorry-I-yelled-and-ruined-breakfast-but-sometimes-you-drive-me-batty type apology, and was speaking in normal "happy" tones by the time they left for school, but I still feel bad.
Here's the thing. I don't want to be a narc. I don't want to be a nag. I don't want to be Billy Buzz kill, but things need to get done, and apparently I am the only one that cares if they do. These kids, even the oldest one, have never had chores before. They have never been trusted with responsibility. That is their mother (both of them) and Bee's fault. Now, "C" and Little man are relatively young, so I knida understand with them, but still. I have a chore chart hanging on the fridge. It's been there since we moved in. I have gone over it with them over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. I have even walked them each through all of their chores, and I still have to remind them to do it about 4 times before it gets done. I get it. They're kids. Kids forget. Fine. However, they each have 6 things they need to do. 5 of those 6 things are chores that need to be done on the weekends only, and 4 of those 5 are group chores. Why, oh great Lord in Heaven can we not remember these things?! I don't even ask much. Just a little help.
Anyway, "J" was supposed to go to her mom's on Saturday and I knew the wee ones were going to to see their mom, which is an all day affair, and I knew Bee and I would be gone all day, and I also knew that between "C"'s game on Sunday and the party, there would be no time. So, Friday Morning at breakfast I nicely reminded the kids that this was going to be a busy weekend so that tonight, when they get home, all chores need to be done before we play. They agreed and off to school they went.
To their benefit, they did about half of their chores before going to play. However, I resisted the urge to remind them and figured I would give them the rest of the weekend to figure it out and get it done. Sunday night, when they were in bed the rest of the chores still weren't done. So, I calmly told Bee that I wasn't nagging anymore. I will remind them Friday mornings, and that's it. If it's not done by bedtime on Sunday, they will just get grounded. He agreed and I told him that the children were grounded Monday and that while staying inside, they were to each do their laundry from start to finish, and the two oldest ones were to clean their rooms because obviously they and I have a different idea of "clean". Bee said ok, and that was that.
Monday morning I broke the news to the kids that they were grounded. We had a lengthy discussion on our chores, and why we should do them. Then off to school and work we went! When I got home last night, it was very quiet, but the the washer and dryer were going so I figured the kids were just up in their rooms. Then "C" comes in from outside. I ask Bee where they are and he says "Oh, they asked to go to the library and I told them they could". I said, "But they're grounded..." and he said "Oh, Reee-ally. Hmm. They didn't tell me this.." Um. Number one, Duh, What kid is going to say "Dad, I really want to go outside and play. but I'm grounded. Is that ok?" and Two, I told him last night. He claimed he didn't remember. And really, that's the problem.
Sure, I'm upset the kids didn't do their chores, but the real issue here is no one listens to me. I talk, and talk, and talk, and tell them all things and it goes in one ear and out the other. 95% of the time, I don't care. It's just me talking about normal every day stuff. I don't care if they don't listen to my story about the one time when I was 12 at Farmer's drug store (that's not a real place, I threw it in there for effect. However, I do love to shop at CVS) but when I tell them to do something, or when I tell Bee something important like "The kids are grounded" or "Dinner is at 7pm On Saturday at my parents house" or "We need to be at the school Wednesday evening at 6:30pm" those things are important. It just hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like I'm not significant to them, all 4 of them, except to be their maid.
Kids knew dad was upset. He grounded them all again tonight, and even Wednesday night too. Tuesday is to make up for Monday, and Wednesday is for lying about not knowing they were grounded. That's another thing that grates my last nerve. The "I didn't know" or "haha! I forgot" card. Not gonna fly. They knew I was upset, so they sent themselves to their room. I vented to Bee, he tried to "explain" why they are that way to me. I didn't buy it. Told him he was making excuses and whatnot. Then we decided to let it go since it had been handled and we both agreed to communicate better. Then I was fine. Until this morning. I was trying to be pleasant, but then "J" lied to me, and it sent me over the edge.
I gave her money 2 weeks ago to buy a homecoming ticket. They are $10 and all I had on me was a $20.00 so I told her to bring me my change. She came home that night and handed the envelope back to me and said that the tickets didn't go on sale until the week of homecoming and could I please hold on to it so she didn't lose it. I put it on the fridge and yesterday she took it to school. I asked this morning if she had bought her ticket yet. I was trying to make conversation and "remind" her if she hadn't yet because "J" is flaky. Also, I wanted my $10.00 if she had because we are on our last roll of toilet paper and we're out of milk and flat broke until Thursday (I could make it work without milk until then, but I don't know if we can handle a roll in each bathroom until then....) and I could use that money to purchase those items. Of course, I just asked if she had bought her ticket. Her response was "Oh yeah! I went to the office and bought it. It's in my backpack." So, then I said "Oh, cool! Do you have my change?" that's when she began to stumble. "Uhhhh....I..ummm...well, uhh...actually, I had forgot my money..well, lost it, but I found it, so it's all taken care of!" Then Little Man piped in, "Yeah, I found it on the floor of the mud room yesterday after school and I took it right upstairs to her!" So I said, "How did you get your ticket without your money then?" and she said "Uhh, umm..well I didn't. I...uh...well I didn't hear what you said right and didn't know what you meant. haha!" I said, "WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?! what a stupid thing to lie about? I don't care if you buy your ticket or not. If you do, you're going to go to the dance, and give me my $10.00. If you don't, you're NOT going to the dance and then you will give me my $20.00. Simple as that. I was just asking. You don't have to lie to me..." it went on from there...
and now this post has come full circle, and I am sure I've bored you all to death with my rambling.
Oh, and for the second time in three days someone has told me that they feel I should just turn my back and run from this whole situation. They've told me they are positive I am "ruining my life" tying myself down to a 40 year old man and his three kids. And maybe I should run. And maybe I am "ruining" my life.
But it doesn't feel that way. First of all, Bee and I spent four months apart, not as a couple. I tried everything I could to get as far away from him as possible and everything I tried, led me back to him. From people who were trying to date me that, without me even mentioning Bee and his team, told me they wanted to play for them, to one guy being his cousin. I felt drawn to him. I honestly feel this is where God wants me. Laugh if you want, but you're not me, so don't judge.
It feels to me, like this is something every parent of a child or children goes through. It feels like to me, that every marriage or relationship where you are raising kids has the same struggles. It feels like to me that fairy tales, where everything is perfect all the time is just a bunch of bullshit they sell to little girls, and that when those same little girls grow up and their relationship actually starts to take work, they throw their hands up in despair and quit on it.
To those people, especially the one whom I love very dearly, I say, mind yours. Let me handle me, and you handle you. If I am not getting what I need, or I ever evaluate my life and I am truly not happy, I will bow out at that time. I am the one responsible for my happiness, and I'll be damned if I will let myself not be overall happy with my life. It might not be what others think should make me happy, but it really doesn't matter what they think in the end, now does it.
As for everything else? Kids will be kids and I am learning everyday how to roll with it. The difference between me and most moms? I did not get the baby time with them to grow our bond. I did not get them when they were oh so giggly cute that just the memory of that time could stop me from strangling them today. So, I am working with what I have, and 99% of the time, we work just fine together, but everyone has their days, right?
Monday, September 27, 2010
My OCD was causing me to twitch, I had cups all over my house, my porch, and my backyard, there were 20+ children Running (strictly forbidden in our house) through my downstairs, up and down the stairs, in and out the front door (also, not allowed in my house) and pressing their little fingers and faces on my glass. There were plates with half eaten hot dogs, cups of half drank pop, and dirty footprints across my hardwood. Ah, Children's' parties :)
"C" didn't have a party for birthday #9. Last year, Bee and I were having some problems and I was too timid to speak up, and him being a man, just didn't think of such a thing. We "meant" to do something, but next thing you know, he birthday came and went. Grandma Bee did take us all out to The Boneyard for dinner and so that "C" and Little Man could play the Chuck-E-Cheese type games. But other than that, nothing was done. I felt really bad. I understand not having a big to-do over a birthday when you are an adult, but 9 years old certainly still entitles you to a shindig.
So, this year, after we had been living in our house for about two weeks, I told "C" she could do something for her Birthday. I admit, I went out on the proverbial limb because I had not talked to Bee about this yet, but c'mon. She was turning 10! I told her she could pick 2 or 3 friends and Dad and I would take them to laser tag, or paintball, or putt-putt or something to that effect, or she could have something at the house and invite more people. She chose a BBQ at home. Awesome. It's easy, and a heck of a lot cheaper than one of the ideas mentioned above.
As it got closer to the party, "C" had asked if she could invite our friends The Homolyas. They have 5 kids, and they all love to play with "J", "C", and Little Man. She also asked if she could invite a couple of kids from her football team. We agreed. She had asked me about 2 weeks before the party if we should get invitations. By we, I think she meant Me, because last I checked, she doesn't have a job. Although, she always has money...hmm.. anyway, I told her no, because I had talked to left The Homolyas a written invite on facebook (everything is done on the "Facebook" these days...) and as far as the kids from her team she wanted to invite, Bee would tell their Daddy's at practice. That was it besides Grandma Bee and my Mama and Poppy, and sister.
Well, unbeknownst to us, "C" copied our address down from the mailbox and sat in her room one night and made Invitations. MADE Them! I applaud her creativity and using what she had to make the best of a situation, however, she invited 45 kids. FORTY FIVE! Um, that's more than my nerves can handle. It might not have been so bad, but Bee, in all of his grand wisdom, forgot about the party. Just plum forgot. He's telling me Saturday morning that after giving me a check for bills, paying for the first part of his tux rental, and the money he spent that morning on stuff to line the field for the "pick up" game they were having, he had $65.00 in the bank, and $70.00 in his pocket. I then said "Um, I spent the last of my money on food for your children, so I hope you saved some of that money for party stuff because we have nothing here. At which point he went, "Oh my Gosh, I totally forgot about that!".
The party was to be after "C's" game on Sunday. I asked just when we were going to shop for it because, true to Bee fashion, we have to pack 700 things into one weekend. He said we'd go before the game. Well, after returning 15 of the 17 cans of lining paint for the field we didn't use, we didn't have time, so we decided to stop on the way home. "C's" game ran late. Real late and instead of having an hour and a half between the game and her party, we were actually at the store when the party was supposed to start (Thank God, our friends are tardy like us all the time ;) ) It was at the store that "C" let Bee and I in on the secret of the 45 homemade invitations she handed out. I thought Bee was going to explode. However, he snapped a few words at her, but managed to keep his cool in the store. In the end, we spent $27.00 and I prayed it'd be enough. Wouldn't you know it, we have leftovers!
"C" got some really nice stuff from her friends, and some money too! Holla! "C"'s got dinner tonight! All in all, we had a great time. It was way past dark time, and I still had kids running around my house. I also think Little Man had more fun and was more excited than anyone. Grandma and Grandpa "S" bought them washable colored sparkly hair spray and silly string, and he was so down to party. Plus, all those kids? My word, it was just the makings of a good time. He played so hard he was literally falling asleep standing up, and "C"? Well, at one point she was talking to my mom and curled up on the hardwood floor next to her and started falling asleep. By 8pm, everyone left and it was quiet again.
My Mama, Poppy, and Sister stayed for a little bit, and then they left. I finished cleaning up (because I wouldn't be able to sleep if I just left it for tonight as Bee suggested) and then Bee and I fell into bed and we were both out after 6.25 seconds. All in all, after being party animals, on a school night, I'm ready for a quiet night in :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Today's Thursday Thirteen is going to be Fall Related due to today being the first day of fall! Enjoy!
- Whenever Fall comes around, so does sickness! Our house has not been spared. "C" came down with an awful stomach bug on her birthday last week. She started to not feel well around 7:30pm and was in bed, fast asleep, by 8pm. Woke up Thursday morning sick. Throwing up. Spent the day sleeping it off on Grandma Bee's couch. Then, exactly a week later, Bee came home last night around 9:30 from various errands he had going on and told me he had to stop a few times on the way home to get sick. I thought he was being a little over dramatic, but when he spent the whole night throwing up and running to the bathroom, and therefore needing me to empty trash cans, get him pepto, and oh-my-God-make-the-puking-stop, needles to say, I guess he wasn't being over dramatic. I have a sick Bee home in bed, continuing last night trend and I am falling asleep at work.
- Our neighbor has a produce stand. They have PUMPKINS! As soon as Bee is feeling normal again, I am going to ask him to take me over there and buy me some. I also threatened to sneak into some one's corn field and steal a few stalks for my front pillars. Bee giggled and told me I was silly. I don't think he realizes how serious I am. I'm cheap, and why pay for foliage when I can get it for free?
- My favorite things about fall are : Pumpkin spice anything. From lattes to room fragrance. I am so down with the pumpkin. Pretty leaves of all different colors on the trees and ground. Nothing more I love than seeing a road lined with trees in a rainbow of colors and dark black, wet, cement. Just enough chill to wear Bee's hoodies, FOOTBALL, Hot/Cold Cider, Leaves burning (you can burn them in lake county, provided you have a fire pit. We do. Awe-sum!) Halloween
- Things I hate about fall: Summer's over. It gets really really cold at night sometimes. It's too short and Winter seems to barge in earlier and earlier every year. The sun begins it's hibernation for the next 6 months. I start my decent into always.being.cold.no.matter.what.
- Thanksgiving is going to be at my house this year! I have always wanted to host a holiday meal, but never had enough room. This year I do. I also have the excuse that I have another family now too and having it at our house with both sides joining us is easier and fair.
- Making Pumpkin Cheesecake. For Everyone.
- I am always cold, yet my skin to the touch is always super warm (probably because I am giving off all my heat!) so, when it's cold out, Bee holds me that much tighter in bed because as he says, I'm his "little space heater" Benefit for me? He is like my blanket :)
- Hayrides! Love them oodles! I will always remember when I was about 7, I was a part of the Indian Princess's (kinda like girl scouts, but it's a father-daughter thing) and our "tribe" went on a hayride. There were two tractors pulling carts full of hay and half of us ended up on one, and the other half on the other. I don't remember who decided it, or why it happened (Hey, I was 7...and I've drank a lot since then!) but someone decided to declare "War" on the other tractor. we were "racing" through the trails, we even stopped to get pumpkins and one of the dad's (maybe it was even mine lol) gave me a giant corn stalk and told me to hold it as our team's "flag", then we stuck pumpkins under their tires and took off! It was soo much fun and I kept that "flag" for like two years. Haha!
- One word - Halloween. I LOVE Halloween. I used to try and go to haunted houses every year. Even into my adulthood. I would even try and dress up every year. I would stress about my costume and which houses to go to. Then, about 2 years ago, I was newly dating this guy and we went to a popular haunted house. "7 Floors of HELL"! Oh, were we excited. We spent the day at the corn maze, and after that got our pumpkin spiced lattes, and now? "7 FLOORS OF HELL!" to top off the day-long date. We got there, it was 7 different "houses". They all took about 1 and a half minutes to walk through, and they were LAME. L-A-M-E, lame. Bonus? It cost us $47 dollars admission (no joke) for the two of us. The whole fairgrounds was done up like some cheap carnival show and pre-teens and teens alike were ALL.Over.The.Place. It was not fun, and we left early. As for dressing up, all the costumes for adults are cheesy or slutty and no matter which of the two you go with, you are uncomfortable. I don't need to pay $150 dollars to look like a slut. I have clothes in my closet that can do that for free ;) I've found the best is just to sit on my porch and hand out candy to the kids and watch them enjoy the "Scary" factor.
- My birthday. My Birthday is in November.
- Black and Gold Football. "C"'s team is Black and Gold and so are my Steelers. It's all around footballey goodness :) Also, next year, Bee's team will be black and gold!
- I was thinking today about how when I was a kid, my parents always picked a Sunday when most of the leaves were already changed, yet still mostly on the trees and we packed up a picnic and went down to the Metro Parks and go hiking and enjoy the pretty-ness of fall, then end it with a good picnic. I might do that this year with the kids!
- Boots. I get to wear my boots again!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
September 22nd! Happy 1st day of Fall!
Outside My Window...
because it's Ohio, and the first day of a new season, we have to celebrate by having completely unseasonable weather. It was 85 today.
I am Thinking...
about how I am kind of proud of myself. I promised the kids I would take them to the Library to get library cards. Apparently, you are not allowed to get a Library card if you are under 18 without a parent present. Anyway, I took the kids up there and got myself a card while I was at it. The library has gotten so much sweeter since I used to go when I was 12 and lied to my parents that I had "homework" when I was grounded so I could play with my friends. But, back to the question...while I was up there I noticed that the Library is having a free Digital Photography Class on October 7th. I came home and told Bee about it and he said "Baby, you should totally take that class!" and so I did!
I am thankful for...
how cute my kids are...otherwise like most kids, they probably wouldn't survive ;)
What I have learned this week...
I need to relax. Go with the flow. Not be so uptight....
I am wearing...
well, because I had actual work to do today, I am updating this at night...so I am in PJ'S!
I am creating...
a list of stuff I want to get to decorate my house for fall!
I am going...
to beg Bee to take us to the corn maze!
I am reading...
my manual for my camera. Gotta brush up for my class!
I am hoping...
we go to the corn maze and I get to decorate for fall!
I am hearing...
"Where the Wild Things Are" on TV. :)
Around the House...
Well, Bee Fixed my brakes on Sunday and officially became my hero for the 800000000th time ever ;) Then We've been planning "C's" BBQ that she had decided on for her party. I've also been really trying to not be so uptight :) Also, Bee has officially left the football he owned with his friend and is starting another team for the 2011 season so we have been pretty busy with that. It's a long story, and I'll cover it later but really, that's about it...waiting for the weekend!
One of my Favorite things this week...
Signing up for my class. I am excited! I hope I learn some good stuff!
A Picture Thought...
"It's ok man, I got you!"
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It was going to be about how I was trying to be good and not flip out and kill everyone. It was mainly going to refer to my morning and how proud I was of myself for not having a melt down when the kids decided they didn't want the crappy, bland bran cereal that my mom gave me (most likely because she wouldn't eat it) that if I was being completely honest, if my digestive system didn't have a total freaking melt down when milk or milk substitute dared enter it's picky fortress, I wouldn't eat either, and instead wanted toast. I was good. I calmly said, even though I could feel the distress welling up in my soul and my eye begin to twitch, "Sure, you guys can have toast instead. Just, no more than two pieces each. We need to make the bread last". I've really been trying to, as Bee says, "Pick my battles"
It has nothing to do with the kids really. They are GREAT kids, whom, in the grand scheme of things, are super well behaved and honestly, I couldn't ask for better. If they WERE any better, it would be creepy. Like, in those scary movies where the "good" kid is actually the mass murdering, children-of-the-corn, type. It all makes me shudder. Anyway, what it is, is my need for control of the situation. I am about to admit something for the semi-first time. Publicly, anyway. To my Two readers....
I am a control freak. Yes. There it is. I'm shamed! SHAMED I SAY! I have to have control. Not over everything. In fact, I am laid back about most things....but when it comes to running my house, I am a control freak. Do you realize, I have three kids at home. THREE. They are 17, 10, and 7. They each have three chores, and two of them each can really only be done weekly. Granted, they are having a super hard time handling those three chores, but, the reason they don't have more is because I am not willing to relinquish the control of doing those jobs. "J" is completely capable of doing the laundry and mopping the floor, which would really give me some free time, but I refuse to allow it, because those are my jobs. I am a freaking loon. I know.
Back to the Cereal...I don't care that they didn't want it or like it. In fact, it's been sitting in my cupboard for a month (in air tight containers) and I have chosen to give them toast over it because I knew they wouldn't want it. I also don't care that "Little man" doesn't like sauce on his food, or that "J" didn't want a hot dog the other night, it's simply because I had a plan of how things were going to go in my head, and when the aforementioned things happened, it changed my plan ever so slightly, and I can't deal with change, oh-my-God-I can't handle it! Then, a melt down ensues...why am I like that? I am not sure. I never used to be.
Only thing I can think of is I want to be taken seriously as the female head of this household. Their mothers, as crazy and messed up as they are, will always be #1 in their eyes. I don't have any kids of my own who see me as the utmost authority figure (not that I need that, I just want to be taken seriously) so, I kind of feel like when I say something, no one is listening. When I think of female head of the house, I picture my mama. She was stern, yet funny, loving, and had everything under control. She took good care of us and had almost everything under control. She did it all. When you looked at our family, you knew who was in control. Up until recently, when the kids were asked (weather they knew I was listening or not) who I was by people outside our group of friends, the kids would say, "Oh, that's my dad's friend". Now, at least I am referred to as "my dad's girlfriend". I think my obsessive need to control all things in the house is my way of trying to exert my "Mama-ness". To "prove" I can be more than just "dad's girlfriend". But what I need to realize is I don't have to be so obsessive about it, I can allow others to help, I need to not be so quick to jump over everything that's not perfect, and more importantly, as Bee says, "go with the flow a little more baby" because as he says, "That's what having kids is all about". I'm working on it...
So, after all of 5 minutes passed, a total cereal induced meltdown was avoided and honestly, I was totally ok with them having toast and wasn't even twitching anymore. I think it's just that initial shock of not having that mapped out in my master breakfast plan.
The word ya'll looking for is Neurotic. Yes. Yes. I admit it.
We finished out the morning, all in good spirits and no one wanting to kill anyone else in the family. For me, that euphoric feeling lasted until three minutes after walking into the door at work.
Here's the skinny: My hours are officially listed as 8:30am-5:00pm. I've always been, at least in my single days, a stickler for being on time. so, when I first started working here, I was here every day at 8:15am. I noticed something after about 2 weeks. I was by myself, like literally only person here, besides my "supervisor" (I put that in quotes because while I work for her and she is my boss in the chain of command, she tells me to run everything by another person and totally and completely defers everything to said other lady, which just makes my boss useless in my eyes) until 8:55am most days. That included the Secretary who's job it is to come in by 8:30am, turn the phones on, and open up the front office. So, since I was here, it became my job to open the front office and answer phones until the Secretary wandered in at 9am.
This did not last long because I had a half hour drive and liked to sleep in, so I started getting here late. 8:45-8:50 was my usual time. However, now that the kids get on the bus so early, I find it silly to sit around and wait, so I am back to being here at 8:15am. Now, here's the thing about my job. We are salary. If you are NOT me, or the other three girls with jobs almost identical to mine, as long as you work a full day, you can have whatever hours you like. My "boss", comes in at 8am, so she leaves at 4:30pm. One guy comes in at 7:00am and leaves at 3:30pm. I have been told that our dress code is "Whatever you want, as long as it's appropriate to wear in public (ie: no pj bottoms, ripped clothes, too racy)" Yet, on a cold winter day, Another girl and myself can wear almost identical Jeans and Hoodies, and I will be told that I need to "dress up more" and that my outfit is not appropriate for the work place. Yet, hey, look at us! We're totally laid back here...you can wear whatever you want...as long as it's not this. Or this. This, or this. And oh yeah, This.
Today's gripe? Well, at the end of the day I am exhausted and want to go home. At 4:45 I will begin to finish up my work. By 4:50pm, I use the restroom (hey, I have a long drive home!) organize my desk for the next day, and gather my things. Between 4:55pm and 4:57pm I am walking out the door. Like Literally, walking away from my desk. My hours are until 5pm. Boss lady told my "boss" to inform me that I need to remember that my "hours are until 5pm, not 4:57pm." To that I say Really? REALLY?!?!.
Never mind the fact I am here, and WORKING at 8:15am. Answering phones, getting guests coffee who have 8:30am meetings, but like to be early. Dealing with the owner who's called 6 times already (he and I are kindred spirits...he's neurotic too!) And, sometimes, cutting my lunch short to deal with work and or work related issues and you are going to give me grief over 3-5 minutes?! Even when I spend 15-45 minutes covering everyone else's ass including hers, miss walk-in-at-anywhere-between-10:30-and-11:00am. Really?!?!?! Really. I don't mind playing the game, but you can't keep changing the rules, and more importantly, they need to be the same for everyone.
So, as you can see, our cereal meltdown avoidance lesson this morning was practice for the self control I was going to need when I got to work. It's going to be a long road, but I hope I'll manage. Like the captain in "Bad Boys II" says.... "Wooooo-saaaahhhh!"
Monday, September 20, 2010
Anyway, some of the girls at work were talking about it today. How beautiful it was. How pretty the bride looked. How each of the 25 tables of 12 had giant center pieces made of live, tropical flowers, How it was all outside, yet, it was made to look like it was inside. Top shelf liquor, open bar. The usual you would come to expect from someone who just recently sold a company he was holding, back to the original owner, after saving it from closure, for 40 million. As a "favor" to his friend. And didn't blink an eye.
When I started this post, I had a point. I'm not so sure what it was now....Opulence, Maybe? Yeah, that could be it. Bee's brother is getting married in October. The bride to be is trying to keep it simple. Keep it cheap, but still nice. I heard her say, "If it wasn't for PopRocks and "M" playing all those shows every weekend, we would be starting our marriage $20,000.00 in debt." . To that I say, "Holy shit!"
I've never planned a wedding. I've never been engaged. But, I can not see spending anywhere close to that amount of money on an event. Listen, I LOVE Bee. On our wedding day (if it ever comes), I want people looking as us and the love we have for one another, not the gigantic live centerpieces flown in from Hawaii. It's Ohio. Even in the summer, it's Ohio. I want a nice dress, but I can't see spending more than $300 and that's saying something for me. I want a simple church wedding, only flowers will be the bouquet I am holding, and maybe on the alter as a thank-offering. Center Pieces? Yeah, I have a hot glue gun. I'll think of something :) I realize it's a party, and those cost money, but really, I don't think it needs to cost thousands of dollars. Since when does promising your eternal devotion to someone require a 2nd mortgage on a house you haven't bought yet?
I was telling Bee the other day how one of the girls in my office bought a necklace to wear with the dress she got for the owner's daughter's wedding. It was $150.00 and looked like a three layer bike chain. Seriously. I remember thinking, "Oh honey, I have something that looks just like that in my garage...and I'll give it to you for free!" Do you know what I could do with $150.00? I could do a lot, let's put it that way, and here is someone who didn't bat an eyelash at that price tag. I just don't get it.
Then again, I've never been one for labels. In fact, the only thing I will say that I buy "name brand" is kotex and shampoo/conditioner, and don't think I haven't tried to go generic on those either. It never ends well, but don't think that doesn't stop me from trying it again every so many years...
Bee is like that with Ketchup. We had the "ketchup is ketchup" discussion the other day at the store. I was getting things for our Labor day cookout. One of the items on the list was ketchup. Now, I normally don't care one way or another, but we were desperately trying to keep the cost of this shindig to a minimum, so I grabbed the "Great Value Ketchup" and the shriek that came out of him was reminiscent of a cat being run over by a bus.
"Bay-bee!, you can't skimp on the Ketchup! It's Heinz or nothing at all!" I didn't realize I was dating such a ketchup snob. I would have fought him, but my mother piped in, "Yeah! Just like your father..anything to save a buck" Oooookkkk, well, someone has to, big spender...
Wow, I really did have a point, long long ago...
I guess what makes love so strong is how you balance each other out. Like they say, too much of a good thing, isn't always so good!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
- I spent most of my teenage years grounded. No. Seriously. From 6th grade until I graduated, the only time I WASN'T grounded was summer vacation (well, once again, not completely true...I spent a lot of that in trouble too.) and the first 5 weeks of school. Once interim reports came out, I was sunk. I was REALLY smart, and I blame that. I was bored. School was not fun, and I preferred to talk to my friends about cute boys rather than listen to anything a teacher had to say.
- Some of the things I did would probably make my mother pale if she knew about them. I can bet you the worst things I got caught doing, were mild compared to what I got away with.
- I totally revert back to being 5 years old at Christmas time, which for me, starts Black Friday.
- At age 4, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always "He-Man". I Had the haircut and all...
- I've always been close with my mama, but a daddy's girl at heart.
- My first job was a "Ham Show-er Girl" during the Easter Holiday Season for Honey Baked Ham. I was 14.
- My first dog's name was Barfey. Yes. "Barfey". It was a poodle. I made that dog so wild and hyper, that my mom had my dad take Barfey to the pound one day while I was at my Aunt Janie's. I came home and she told me that when she opened the door for the mail, he took off. I made my dad drive me all around town for weeks while I called out the window, "Baaaarrrrrrffffyyy!!!"
- It wasn't until I was 24 that I found out that Barfy didn't actually run away...
- When I was 4, I won a 75lb hollow chocolate Rabbit from a local candy store. It was one of those "Fill out this card and you could win THIS" type contests. My mom has a picture of me kneeling next to my rabbit (it was 3ft tall) and the look on my face was priceless.
- I got REALLY upset when my dad cut Mr. Rabbit up and put him in zip lock bags and my mom game them away to people who came to the house.
- I am a proud volunteer of the U.S.O. and have been since August 2002. If you are not sure who or what the are, check them out here!
- I've always wanted to be an athlete
- I've NEVER been on an airplane before. I really want to go on one :)
Well, there you have it! :)