Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly...

So, I have always loved Christmas. Not like. Not like a lot. Loved.  I love everything about it. I love first and foremost that it's a birthday celebration for Jesus and really, the whole world. I love the story behind it. I love the magic of it. I love the songs we sing. Both Christian and secular. I love the idea of Santa. I love how excited children get at the fact that Santa is coming! I love the decorations, the lights, the shopping, the gift giving, the fact that humanity tends to suck less during this month. I just love it ALL!

However, it gets harder and harder for me to get into the spirit every year. Mainly, because as I get older, my friends and family get older too. They tend to get "bah humbugish", and therefore, it really kind of brings me down. I try harder with each and every year to force myself into the spirit. Except for this year.

I was ready two days before Thanksgiving. I held off though, for Bee. He's not to big on the holidays. I'm working on him though, ya'll. I normally put up my decorations the day after Thanksgiving, and that was the plan this year too. But, then it dawned on me that the kiddos wouldn't be home until Sunday. We had people over Sunday, but not that it mattered, because I was tired. But I promised we'd do it Monday. I was waiting for the usual groan I expect to hear when discussing Christmas and Christmas decorations, but instead I got two thrilled sounding "yay!!!!!"'s. God Bless the children :)

I have found two allies in the sea of grumblers. My 7 and 10 year old could not be any more thrilled as I am about the impending Christmas season. It made decking the halls last night that much more fun. There was laughing and giggling, and "wow""s and "Preeeety!"'s, and "Oh! Look at this!" heard all night. I think even Bee's mood was uplifted a bit, though he will never admit it.

Finally at 9 o'clock, we were as done as we were going to get for the moment. The kids went to bed and all that was left was the star. Tradition in my family is that the man of the house tops the tree with the star/angel. Bee refused, then grumbled, then I made a fuss and he got up to do it, but our star was too top heavy. I decided that was the straw that broke the camels back and I needed to go to Walmart that very moment and get some things. So I did. I got an Angel, three ornaments (one is my name! Only time of year I find monogrammed things ;) ) a Christmas themed table cloth, sticky hooks for mine and Bee's stocking Christmas Cards, candy canes, and window clings :) Yeah, I'm crazy, I know.

J was already upstairs. She's a "Jehovah Witness", sort of. Since coming to live with us though, she has stopped reading her bible, stopped going to Kingdom Hall, and has gone to a birthday party, a wedding, and a school dance and partied her butt off and thought nary a second on the fact her religion doesn't allow those things. Bee and I have offered to take her to Kingdom Hall and her mother has offered to bring her Bible, but she wants no part of it...yet, hasn't decided if she is celebrating with us. Bee kind of told her she doesn't have a choice.

Anyway, I finished decking the halls, and then Bee and I went to bed. I was so excited for the kids to see the finished result this morning. But then, 5 minutes before I went to wake them up today, the power went out due to the storm :( The older kids will have to wait until after school, but Little Man got to see it right before we left because the power came back on. I called for him to get in the car and he didn't come. I went looking for him and saw him just standing in the living room staring at the Angel. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Nothing! It's just....She's sooooo pretty!" Bless his heart. :)

There is little finishing touches I want to add. Along with a few more ornaments. Grandma Bee doesn't decorate anymore, so she has offered for me to come dig through her stuff and take whatever I want! So, Um. YAY! I took pictures and will post soon...in fact, I invite anyone who reads this to do the same....on December 13th....and check back here on the 13th because it's the....



I've seen this on a few other blogs and now I can join in! I hope you do too because I really like all the Christmasness of Christmas time!!! :)

Monday, November 29, 2010

I took a bloggy Vacation

I took a little break. I thought about typing entries and setting them to auto-post, but that seemed weird. Mainly, because how can you write about things that haven't happened yet?

I would like to tell you that I spent my little 3 day spree shopping for Christmas, or decorating, or scrubbing my house from tippy top to bottom with a tooth brush and now you have to wear sunglasses in it's presence, or even that Bee and I slipped away to a tropical location, just the two of us, and sipped little drinks with umbrellas while tall, dark, and handsome, MUTE men slathered me with tanning lotion....

I would like to tell you that, but I can't.

Cuz it's fantasy :)

What I really did was a whole lot of eating, and sitting my big butt in my chair with my feet up next to my Bee who may or may not have showered and shaved once in three days. Ah, doing nothing....

My house did get a little TLC. I cleaned my kitchen about 700 times from Wednesday to this morning. Can I just tell ya'll the Swifer Wetjet has changed my life. If it would not totally weird her out, I would grab up Grandma Bee and spin her around and kiss her FACE! Seriously. I will save so much time and money, and wear and tear on my back!

I also managed to do laundry, and clean up my dining room, which is where all the Thanksgiving festivities went down. Other than that, I spent quality time with my laptop, my chair, my Steelers snuggie, and my Bee.
I did manage to venture out a little bit, but not much.

Wednesday I got home early. My mom was there cooking, and I joined in and we cooked and baked until the wee hours of midnight. The kids went with their Grandparents to visit their Aunt and Uncle and cousins. I missed them while they were gone, but figure let them have the kids for Thanksgiving because I call dibs on Christmas. J was there, though and she would take breaks from hiding in her room and come down and visit and steal bites of whatever it was we were cooking at the moment.

Thursday morning, my guy got up and made mama and I breakfast. He actually sat down at the kitchen table with us and ate too. Mainly because I told him he should since I would most likely not see him again until dinner time. He ate, then disappeared into the living room to watch football in between playing his Xbox. Mama and I finished up the cooking, set the table, and prepared for the guests. Everyone arrived, we snacked, drank, and then, it was time to eat! At dinner, we had me, Bee, J, Grandma Bee, Mama, Poppy, Siso, BFF Rose, and her son Kam. Then later, Aunt Neenee (Bee's aunt) came by, along with Bee's Brother and his lovely new Bride. It was so nice to just sit and enjoy every one's company.

Friday, we did a whole lot of sitting and doing nothing. Then, my new friend, the lovely Miss A., asked if I would like to meet her for dinner because she had the evening to herself. I agreed, after Bee's blessing. Not that I feel I "need" it, but I feel it's polite. He was excited for me. I think he's happy I have a friend who I can go out with for a couple of hours and get away. We went to a bar/restaurant where we had delicious burgers and then, for good measure, I bought us a shot of Whipped Cream Vodka, because if you haven't had it, it's OhhEmmGee amazing :) We sat and chatted for a few hours, and then I headed home where my sleepy Bee was waiting (it was only 10:30pm. We're lightweights).

Saturday we sat and ate as well as lounged for a the better part of the day. J left with her mom to go to a baby shower. Bee had a meeting with Reggie about Team stuff, and I met the Lovely Miss A. and her man at Famous Footwear to get boots. Alas, they didn't have them and were of no help to me, so we left in a huff and grabbed coffee instead. We parted ways and I headed out to my parents house, but first stopped at the Famous Footwear by them. They didn't have my boots either, but they were able to order them for me and I shall be enjoying their loveliness in about 7-10 business days. I spent the evening with my family and BOTH my siblings! Along with my adorable little niece as well! She is getting so big! She crawls and "talks" too!

Sunday, we had the lovely Miss A and her man over for the Steelers Vs Bills game. They are Bills fans, we are Steelers fans, and can I tell you, what started off as a boring game with the Steelers ahead by 10, ended in quite a nail biter! We clinched it, with our new kicker in OT...but almost had to settle for a tie. After they left, the younger kiddos came home. They were being weird, which is kind of normal after spending extended periods of time with their mother's family. Throw in a visit with their mom and two letters from her, and we have weird kids. Little Man seemed sad, yet wanted to be around me as much as possible. C was all "my grandma says.." "My Grandma likes.." "My Grandma bought me..." which the latter statement could be ended with "not much".  Anyway, at one point in the evening she informed us, in a very "ha-ha!" kind of way that her mom said she read in the paper that friends of Bee's (which he knew when he was married...and therefore could be considered friends of hers) house was in foreclosure. Bee exploded and said that her mom needs to worry about her own issues and where she's at. And, perhaps her own foreclosure because you know how we moved? It's not because we wanted to, it was because your mom caused our house to go into foreclosure and that's why we moved. She didn't care if you and your brother slept out in the cold. She had a nice warm cell with 3 hots and a cot.

Needless to say, it was a quiet evening after that. I hate when their mom has to be brought up. I am a believer in not talking bad about her, but the kids also need to know. Their grandparents and their mother pump them so full of BS that they come home thinking they know what's going on...and they have no clue.

Oh well, in the end, it was a good Holiday. I am kinda glad to be back at work. To have us back on our schedule again. I like order. I like my kids all at home where they belong. With us.

I hope Tom Turkey was good to all of you as well!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

In my family, we have traditions. Bee's not one that's big on traditions, because he's not big on holidays. That makes me sad. However, I suppose I see your point when your dad died at 13, your mom worked 3 jobs to support you and keep food on the table and clothes on your back, the man who you looked to for fatherly love and support died when you were 15, and well, there wasn't much to celebrate.

However, I feel that you need to sack up, and try and make the holidays special for your kids, so they don't grow up hum-bugging it themselves.

So, I try to cram my holiday traditions down their throat, hoping at least one or two stick and make special memories for the four of them :)

A couple of my family traditions at Thanksgiving are, my sister and my dad create "place mats" for each person with construction paper and crayons. I think they are funny, because none of us have artistic ability, but especially those two and more so my father after having a vodka or two. ;) This year, I think I'll get some construction paper and let them all have at it.

We also make our Christmas Lists for Santa after the desert has been cleared away and we are officially done with Thanksgiving Dinner. We also draw names for the Christmas Exchange, should we decide to have one that year.

However, my favorite Thanksgiving tradition is before we eat, my Poppy says grace, and then we go around the table stating one thing we are thankful for. So, in honor of that tradition, I give you my 10 things I am Thankful For.

10 things I am thankful for:

1. God, my saviour, who makes all things are possible. The very air I breathe, the things I have, are all because of Him.

2. Bee. I am so very thankful to have Bee in my life. He is my rock, my strength, my best friend, my lover, my constant companion. He is my stress reliever and the cause of most of my stress ;) hehe but seriously, the last year and a half of my life, despite the ups and the downs, has been the very best. I love him with all of my heart and I thank God every day for putting him in my life.

3. This is #3 on my list, because I believe in whole numbers, but really, it goes with #2 because it's just as important as #2. However, I could lump so much in with #2 that instead of 10 things, it would be 2. ;)  The kids. They are a constant blessing. Teaching me, letting me teach them. Letting me love them, and them loving me. I am so blessed with my little family. I couldn't ask for anything more, really. (However, one of my own would be nice ;)  ) 

4. Once again, this one could be #2 on my list. My family and friends. This includes Bee's Family too. For, to me, they are the same. They support us in every sense of the word. They make me laugh, help me remember things I have forgotten, love me unconditionally, and help me out when I need it. They love me and my little hive, and I can't ask for anything better than that!

5. My Home, for it is more than just a house. More than just a building. It is where we live. Where we share good times, and lean on each other during bad times. It is our sanctuary, our place to feel safe and complete. It's where we make our memories. 
   
6. My Job. For all the office politics that make me mad, or irritate me, I have a wonderful job, with a wonderful owner who takes good care of his employees. From bi-annual bonus, to free concert/sports tickets in the good seats. Not to mention, decent wage, and free health benefits. Plus, our owner is a stand up, decent guy.

7. My ability to budget money. I'm not like an accountant or anything, but I grew up with two parents who have no idea, and still don't. I can keep my checkbook better than they can. Which is why I never have any money. I pay all my bills, for the most part on time. I may only have $6.00 to my name, but damnit, all my bills are paid and there is food in my cupboard and gas in my cars.

8. My material goods. The clothes on my back, the clothes on my kid's and Bee's back, Our cars that get us where we need to go, our beds we sleep in, toys we play with, and TV's we watch. Not everyone is as fortunate as us.

9. My Dog. She is like my family too, but she lives with mama and poppy. She is going to be 11 this year and is still as spry as ever. She's a little deaf, and a little bit slower, but she can still bust into "stealth mode"...well, a slightly less fast version anyway ;)

10. Our Military and all that they have done for us and are still doing for us. God Bless them and their families! 
  

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. May it be as Blessed as mine is! :)

Gobble! Gobble!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sometimes, things just don't work out.

So, I got a text from my brother yesterday. He is back at home, living with my parents. I called and talked to my mama and I said, "I hear you have a roommate..." she said "Yeah, he walked in last night and took us by surprise. He showed me his suitcase and I said "Oh, I see you have left" and he said "Mama, I tried. I really, really, really, tried." and then burst into tears and sobbed in my arms for two hours"

Broke my heart.

Here's the thing. My brother met his girlfriend because she was the girlfriend of his best and oldest friends from before he moved in with us. She was pregnant at the time with D's child. My brother, D, and her all hung out. Every day, almost. The baby was born, my brother was named the godfather, and he loved that little girl to bits! D and Jessica ended up breaking up, but he still lived there. Mainly because he had nowhere else to go, and she needed help with the baby while she was at work. My brother was still always there because he was friends with D. Well, somehow, at sometime, my brother and Jessica decided that their hate for one another was really passion and well...they started "seeing" each other, quietly. My brother was torn because D was his friend, and that was the mother of D's child and D still wanted to make things work with her, and here he was, being the slimy friend. They were at the point of trying to figure out if they liked each other enough to make a go of it, and risk everything, because then, they would have to tell D, or stop all together and be done with it, when she found out she was pregnant with my brothers child.

They decided to make a go of it.

Now, I met Jessica and I was not wowed by her like I was with my brother's previous serious girlfriend. (I loved her. I REALLY wanted us to be sisters!) But, that was who my brother wanted to be with, and she was going to be his child's mother, so, I gave her a shot. In the end, she's not so bad. I don't really think she has much in the way of personality, but she was always nice to me an my family and I supported my brother because that was who he chose. What I didn't like about her was her total apathy towards her child. Every time they would come over to my parents house, she would sit down wherever and relax. Eat, read a magazine, watch a movie, whatever and meanwhile my brother was literally chasing her 1 1/2 year old around making sure she wasn't getting into anything. He fed her at meal time, changed her, played with her, disciplined her, and held her. Jessica, never moved or even acknowledged her daughter. At first, I just figured, she was pregnant and tired (she was still working too) and they were at my parents house, but after seeing her at home, I realized, that's just how she is.

After the baby was born, she continued in the same pattern, and when she did do something, it was with the oldest and my brother was left with the baby. He has raised my niece since she was an infant this whole first year. Now, if my brother isn't home, she will get the baby if she cries, feed it, change it, whatever, but the second he walks in the door, she hands both over to him and grabs a couple or three beers and goes upstairs and shuts the door saying "I've had them all day. It's YOUR turn". He eventually quit the job I got him because she was upset he was working and not home taking care of the kids. She quit her job too. They live, well, SHE lives with her dad and gets welfare and WIC. She didn't care if anyone was working or that my brother was trying to make it so they could get a place of their own and not have his children be welfare babies.

Now, I'm not saying my brother is completely innocent. I've lived with him before. I know how he is. He recently rekindled a friendship he had with one of his guy friends. Chuck is a good guy and a positive influence on my brother in a lot of ways. Problem is, Chuck is single and has no life, so he tends to overstay his welcome. I had heard he was at their house every.single.night. till the wee hours of the morning. My brother is also kind of immature and acts stupid from time to time. I'm sure he had his part in it too...

On one hand, I am very sad because I know he is hurting. He misses his kids (I say that plural because D's little girl loved him and called him "mom-as" (his name is Thomas) and he was her daddy because her's doesn't come around too often) and he is dying without his daughter. I am also sad because they couldn't work it out. Love is so hard sometimes. Especially that young. Especially when you throw two young children into the mix. However, Thomas is strong, he'll get through, and he will still be a great daddy to his daughter. I hope he is able to be a part of her other daughters life too.

didn't see him much, and I understood. However, we've talked and he plans on spending more time getting to know his niece's and nephew, and future brother-in-law (someday, hopefully).

Best part is? Him AND the baby are comming to Dinner Tomorrow!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Fear is weakness leaving the body

I think the correct saying is, "Pain is weakness leaving the body", but sorry United States Marine Corps, today I like my version better.

We all had our dentist appointments yesterday. That's right. All. Me too. I told Bee that we would go to "my" dentist because C had a toothache and needed to get it checked out. We'd all get our teeth cleaned and see how as a family we liked Dr. Tom because after all, he IS an HOUR away from our house.

I met bee and the kiddos up there because from my work, it's only a half an hour. I got my cleaning first and I waited, and cringed for the bad news. Bad news? I still need $10,000.00 worth of work. Good news? Nothing else popped up since the last time I was in. AND he said he knows I've been avoiding him because of sticker shock. He said my teeth HAVE to be fixed, so he is willing to accept any monthly payment I can afford, directly, so I don't have to try and get a loan. Also, he is going to sit down and see what he can do. Talk to my insurance company, see the most they will pay, and see if he can't cut that number at least in half. He said that he can give me new temporary crowns that will still need to be turned into permanent ones someday, but that they should last me at least 10 years because they are made of good solid material and they look a lot better than the temporary crowns I have in now. So, I think I can live with that, and honestly, that is a huge weight off my shoulders. I also forgot just how nice and fun to talk to he was!

Bee and the kiddos arrived, and I could see the fear in all four of their faces. One by one, Dr. Tom took them back and won their hearts over. Him and Bee sat and talked a good twenty minutes after his cleaning just on football alone. I think their buds for life now! As it turns out, C's toothache was an "impact toothache" from when she went helmet to helmet with another boy in football. Dr. Tom says to leave it be, keep an eye on it, and eat on the other side. It will heal itself, it'll just take time. J has an old filling that broke that is sharp and jabbing her in the tongue. He is going to have to fix it and put a crown on it (ouch to my pocketbook!) but to help ease the blow, he is throwing in a free veneer for her front tooth that has a colored spot on it from when it came in. Little man has two cavities that are so small, they are almost unrecognizable. He is going to keep an eye on them, but nothing has to be done now, other than brush better, more often (for all of them) and ease up on the sweets! Bee had two cavities too, but he said they were small. Pretty darn good considering that the lot of them hadn't been to a dentist in quite awhile. :)

All in all, we left happy, and all is well. Got home to find that my check had come from my mama for my birthday so I can buy my boots! So all in all a great day all around!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Let's kick it into overdrive!

Well, the weekends over. It was nice while it lasted, and Bee and I spent quality time together, and with the kids. We did something on Friday night that we haven't done since we moved into our house. We took the kids out to eat at their favorite place in the whole wide world. CiCi's Pizza! (yes, our kids DO have a sophisticated pallet!) It was nice because, like I said, we haven't done anything like that in quite awhile. The kids were really excited. Then we came home and after hanging out for awhile, we went to bed.

Saturday, the kids cleaned, we had C's football banquet, and then Bee and I went out for the night to our friend Reggie's mom's 50th birthday party. It was funny because it was held in the basement party room at city  hall in the city where my cousin's husband used to be a cop. I even knew the police officer that was working the party. He was on the Biggest Loser a little while back. We had a blast, and I even had three guys try to slip me their number. Nice to know I still "got it", but I'm perfectly happy with my Bee. ThankYouVeryMuch!

Sunday, the two youngest kids went with their grandparents to go see their mom, and Bee and I laid around watching football, playing on our laptops,  and hanging out with Reggie, while J played outside. It was a beautiful day, too! Now it's time to kick it into overdrive!

I have to go shopping for dinner for Thursday. I would have it done already, but now I can't go until Tuesday or Wednesday because Bee didn't deposit his check until late Friday. I'm sorry, BOTH of his checks. He sat on one for a week. Why? I don't know, other than just not feeling like making the trip to the bank. Ugh! Oh well, bills will get paid, dinner will get bought, cooked, and served. Then, I must clean my house. It's not dirty, really. The kids who were grounded were good at keeping it tip top, but I need to mop the floors, bleach everything, and get it clean and not just "surface clean" as I say. Shouldn't be too much work because the kids, for the most part, will be out of town, so I'll be able to clean it, uninterrupted, and it will stay clean :) J likes to hibernate in her room, so she won't mess things up too bad. ;)

Then, there's dinner. Here's the thing. On one hand, I wanted to buy the dinner, cook it, and serve it, with minimal help from mama. Mainly because I want to take the burden off of her. She has been doing it for 30+ years and us kids are old enough to start doing it on our own. Secondly, because I want to see if I can :) I mean, I can throw together a meal for Bee, the kids, and I, but can I manage a Thanksgiving Meal, all the fixin's and desserts, and not only pull it off, but have it taste as good as hers? Well, my plan was to find out this year. When there's cooking to do though, mama doesn't like to be idle for too long, so she asked if I would like some help. I agreed, because cooking with her is nice :) Beginning of last week, we talked on the phone about who would buy what, and how we were going to schedule things. She said she's come out Wednesday and we'd cook. That was our game plan.

By the end of the week, it all changed. She called me and told me she bought everything on our list other than stuff for pies (which is always my contribution) Olives + Pickles (which she was going to by, but I insisted she let me) and one of the Turkeys. I'm not going to complain too much though. Bee and I are trying to save every penny to get us a little bit ahead of the game, so this helps us a lot! She also decided that since I am working until at least 3pm on Wednesday, she should come out Tuesday and cook all day Wednesday. That way, when I come home, I'll be able to do the pies and we'll be done, save the Turkey we will cook on Thursday. Whew!

So, Mama's doing Thanksgiving this year, just at my house. I think I am ok with that :)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

peaceful

Bee woke up at 8am this morning. He gets up Monday through Friday at 4:30am, so 8am is sleeping in. He walked over to my side of the bed, covered me back up and tucked me in just like he does every morning, kissed me, and said "Sleep, baby. Sleep as long as you like"

I've been up since 8:15....but still, I've got a great man :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Happy Bi-Centenial Post..plus one...TO ME!

Wow! 201 posts already. That's a whole lot of words to say a whole lot of nothing ;)

I kinda like it though. It's like having your own newspaper, and you only feature the stories YOU want to hear about. Yes, I do like to hear myself speak. haha! No, I Really don't. I lothe Public speaking (no, I don't) Seriously though, I do.

Anyway, moving on.

It's FRIDAY!!!

That just means I don't have to break up my chores with work, is all. :) Not really true this week. C and J have been grounded so, they have kept the house pretty tip top. I will get to test out my new Swiffer Wet Jet, that I got for my birthday though. We are just full of excitement.

Miss A has invited me over for wine tonight. I am thinking seriously of taking her up on the offer. Only problem is, I don't like having alcohol and then driving. I don't even like to have ONE glass of wine, then drive. Especially, because ya'll? I live in the country and we have dark, winding roads. However, If I got there early enough, I could have a glass and then hang out for awhile. I would be fine. Surely under the legal limits.

(My 23 year old self is reading that and silently, a part of her soul just died. She also told me that she hates me for selling out and drinking coffee now)

Tomorrow is C's football banquet. Bee thought I forgot last night. Um, Hello? I keep this whole families social calendar in my head. If you tell me something is on such-and-such a day, It's locked in. I HAVE to be the one to coordinate, otherwise, he'd have us double booked from here until NEXT Christmas :) After the banquet, we have a birthday party for one of our friend's mother. Then Sunday is a day of rest. I might even just try out a church on Sunday. Who knows! I'm a wild and crazy gal.

Who has 201 posts to prove it.

And if you've read even one of them, than I thank you. Or feel sympathy for you...depending on which one you read :) 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Dentist, and other confessions.

So C has a tooth ache. More like a sore tooth. It's an adult tooth, so we need to get her in to get it looked at. Bee doesn't have a dentist, so he asked me to make an appointment with mine for her. Then added, "While were at it, might as well get all three of them in. Me too, I suppose. Hey! Why don't we allll go!"

To which I responded, "You got $10,000.00 for me to go?"

Yes, folks. I need $10,000.00 worth of work done in my mouth. That's with a discount.  I need a 4 piece bridge in the front ($5,000) and I need an implant on the side from the old tooth they pulled ($3,000) and I need another one pulled that broke a long long time ago, and one other capped. I kinda told them talk to me in a few months after the whole tooth pulling and we'd see about getting it done. The guy's a dentist and he wants to fix it for me. Just like an M.D. wants to fix a broken bone for one of their patients. Plus, it doesn't help that I'd be paying him $10,000.00. However, I don't have $10,000.00. I am also not interested in being in debt for $10,000.00 while trying to handle all of our other bills too. So, I'm avoiding him. And his text messages (yes, my dentist text messages his clients.) It's time for me to come in for a cleaning, and since the last time I saw him, I have a tooth in the back that's chipped. It's annoying me and it makes eating bothersome.

Yet, I am still avoiding him. Why? Because I want my teeth fixed, but I don't want to have to come up with ten grand. Also? I have a REALLY bad habit. I tend to chew on ice. I don't want the lecture. I've gotten better, I swear, but it's still there. The kids see me do it and so they've started, which is why I think C has the tooth ache she has now. She has since stopped cold turkey with the ice, but I feel guilty, so I am putting my tail between my legs and going.

It's just the Dentist right? I mean, he can't force me to get work done. I mean, I suppose he can tell me I need the work again, and I can simply inform him that unless he drops that sticker price significantly, it ain't happening....

But still, I have anxiety. I HATE the dentist. I don't know why, because I always had a great one growing up. I think it's because they always have bad news. This is going to cost $5,000. That is going to cost $2,500. You need this, you need that. Dental insurance is crap anymore and don't really do anything in the way of covering anything. Lame.

Bee offered up the idea of the dental college at Case Western University. I am always down for things on the cheap, but the thing is, I am also a wuss when it comes to pain, and I am concerned with how it would look. I don't want janky looking crowns just because I went to the dental college. I want professional looking stuff. I suppose I could go and find out. But I'm scared. Blah.

Another thing I considered too, is my car will be paid off in about 3 years. Bee has already made it known that I have a Honda and those are good reliable cars. He can also fix most things that go wrong and if he can't, he knows someone who can, so there is no need to go get a "new" one just because I paid this one off and I am bored with it. He's right, you know. But, it's another reminder that I am not single anymore and can't just do those things without consulting him, since it's both of our money now. However, I could then take the $400 a month I pay on my car and put it towards a loan payment for my teeth.

Either or, something needs to be done.

Ugh, I hate being responsible and setting a good example....

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Dish Towel Incident of 1988

We had a big Island in the middle of our kitchen in my parents house. That was pretty much the kitchen anyway, but none the less. We always had a dishwasher too. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. However, even if it was working, it was almost guaranteed that mama had one or several dish towels laid out on the open space next to the sink, because there were always at least a few dishes that ended up getting washed by hand.

Mama didn't throw things away either. There was a cycle of things. When it came to towels, they went out in the bathroom first, then the kitchen as towels she used to wipe her hands every 15 minutes while cooking, then as dish towels. I remember a certain set very vividly. They were, at one time, white with frayed edges, with purple and blue flowers on them with green leaves. I hadn't known a day when they weren't in the house somewhere, so they must have been pretty old.

Every day when I got home from school, I was to call mama at work and let her know I was home. She'd make sure that Tita from down the street was there to watch us, tell me what I could have for snack, and ask me how school was. Since it was 1988, our phone was attached to a wall and had a cord. As I would talk to her, I'd lean up against the island where the dishes would be laid out from the night before to dry.

One day when I was about 8 years old, while on the phone with my mama, I was fiddling with one of the dish towels with the purple and blue flowers on it. I noticed there was a hole in it from all the years of use. So, without thinking, I stuck my finger in it. It was so old and tattered that it just made a little "riiip noise. The feeling of the fabric ripping and the sound it made, made me giggle. So I did it again. And again. The next day, I noticed a pair of scissors laying on the counter so I picked them up. I pinched the fabric together and "Snip!" all while on the phone. Never dawning on me that what I Was doing was wrong, or that mama would find it and get mad.

The next day when I got up and went into the kitchen, there was my mom standing with the dish towel in one hand and her other hand on her hip. I was in trouble. She asked me if I did it. Why I did it. What made me think it was ok. What if she came in my room and cut up my things, etc, etc. I cried and cried and cried. This was by far the worst thing I had ever done in my whole life.

As punishment, mama made me take three whole weeks worth of my $3 dollar a week allowance, of which I had to BEG to start getting in the first place, and buy new dish towels. What was worse, was each week, she'd hand me the three dollars and I had to go put it in an envelope on top of the microwave. Then, we had to go to the store and mama picked out her dish towels, and I handed the cashier my money. It was a hard, and extremely humbling and embarrassing lesson to learn not to touch, let alone purposely destroy, other people's things. No matter how old and ragged.

I thought of this story today as I was brushing my hair. We just had had a morning of tears and punishment.

Yesterday when I came home from work, I noticed scraps of something in my decorative dish I have sitting on a table in my utility room. It was weird to me, because I am neurotic about stuff like that. I was in the middle of something else and my brain was going a million miles an hour, and so I pushed it off to the back corner of my mind.

This morning, as I was preparing my coffee, I happened to look over at the side of the fridge. At one time, I had a bunch of my pictures of family and friends up there. They all disappeared, for like a day, and then reappeared on the front of the fridge. I didn't think anything of it because I used to rearrange the fridge magnets, papers, and pictures as a kid all the time. However, there was one picture still left on the side (I'm assuming because there wasn't really any more room left on the front). It was the Christmas card/picture my brother and his then pregnant girlfriend sent out to all of us last Christmas. Someone had cut the corners off.

Here's why I noticed it, because really, it was supposed to look like a "gift tag" and the way it was cut, was typically how they do that. The picture had my brother and his girlfriend framed in a white frame, and the rest of the picture was the "card" part of it. The white "frame" was cut so that the sides of the frame didn't come to a point. AND, I instantly remembered the scraps I found in the dish. I remembered it looked like someone was cutting pictures. I went and got the scraps (thank Goodness for my OCD being on a "break" for once lol), and sure enough they matched up.

I asked who the guilty party was and no one wanted to confess. I asked several times, reminding them all that the punishment for lying is worse than the crime most of the time, and still. Crickets. We're all innocent here. So, I grounded all of them. No TV, No MP3 players or radios, no books, No hand held games, no going anywhere other than school, not even outside, no snacks. They will go to school, come home, scrub the house from top to bottom until dinner. They will eat, and then go to bed (with no TV, radio, nothing), and do it all again the next day. This will continue until someone confesses. Still nothing. I text bee and informed him so he would be aware. He called and spoke with each one, who once again proclaimed their innocence profusely. While he was on round two on interrogations, C came up to me and confessed. This is the second time she pulled a stunt like this. First time being the "Painting of Bee's helmet Incident,  Circa 2010".

Bee grounded her every which way a person can be grounded, and promised more punishment when he got home. He reminded her that lying is the most severe of her crimes, and it will hold the most severe of the punishments. He also reminded her what lying got her mother (oh! Snap!). After he got off the phone, I was still heated. My picture wasn't ruined, but it was the principal. I let her have it some more. She was crying so hard she had snot bubbles. I walked away and went into the bathroom to brush my hair...Then I remembered the dish towels.

I walked back out into the other room where her had was down on the table and she was soaking her sweatshirt with her tears. I walked over to her and gave her a big hug. I told her it was ok, I still loved her, and we all do dumb things. Sometimes we don't even know why, other than "it was there, it felt like a good idea". Lying is never the answer. She so wants to be grown and be apart of adult conversations and hang out with the adults, but she is still such a kid. However, part of becoming grown, is learning that when we do something wrong, we need to confess. Especially when someone calls us on the carpet about it, because Lying is never ok.

But, the most important lesson that I hope she doesn't learn is, If you do something wrong, hide the evidence, because had I not seen the scraps, I probably would have never thought twice when I saw the picture! ;)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I have a soap box, and I am not afraid to use it!

Warning, I am going to express my opinion here on a few things.

I know, weird, because this is my blog, where I write about all things me...but just so you know. You may not agree with me.

Which is also weird, considering it's my personal opinion, and opinions are like A-holes, and every one's got one...

Anyway.

Bullies and the "G" word.

Ok, I'm going to come out and say it. When it comes to bullying, put your big kid panties on and deal with it. Listen, I was the fat kid. Not just a little chunky, but fat. F-A-T fat. I had one friend. She was the skeleton why-don't-you-eat-something- skinny nerd. Funny thing was, she ate like a horse, and I hardly ate at all. But, I digress.

Anyway, When I was growing up, I was made fun of every.single.day. Kids are mean. For 7 years of my school career, I came home every day and cried. Begged my mom and dad not to send me back. Do you know what they did? They hugged me tightly, stroke my hair, wiped my tears, and told me they loved me. They also told me Kids are mean. Mostly, because they themselves are insecure, or possibly even made fun of too. I was expected to get up, put the best smile on that I could muster, and basically sack up. Mama told me there will always be one person who wants to be mean and ignorant, but that doesn't mean we have to let them alter our lives. Life isn't fair. Not everyone is nice. You need to learn how to cope. She also told me, if anyone ever laid a hand on me, to sock 'em one good time, and they would learn to leave me alone. However, only if they touched me first.

The problem with today is that this whole freaking generation has been coddled and had their hands held. They played youth sports where there was never a "winner" because "Everyone's a winner!". Everyone got a trophy, because "Everyone did their best". No one tries out for anything because everyone, regardless of skill level, is allowed to play. The kids with actual talent get benched the second the team starts doing well because it's not "fair" to the other team.

That's Bullshit. It really is. You think you are doing your kids a favor by letting them always be happy, never have their feelings hurt, and spared from ever having true competition. The only thing it does is leave them with the lack of ability to cope because life ISN'T fair, you DON'T always win, people AREN'T always nice, and sometimes it's just because they don't WANT to be, and even if you play by all the rules, you DON'T always win. How can you experience the real joy of working hard towards something and maybe even beating out someone else, if you don't know what it's like to lose?

These kids become teenagers and teenagers are less likely to be in a controlled environment. Being a teenagers involves mood swings. Happy, Sad, Hyper, Depressed, Anxious, Mean, Feisty, Giddy. They are walking balls of hormones. They are vying for their place in their social world. They pick out the weak and seek to build themselves up by putting the easy targets down. You see it every day in nature. In the wild, the weakest buck of the pack ends up alone. The strong survive. You either learn to adapt, or you are left out in the cold. However, since we have not allowed our children to experience being the "loser", or having their feelings hurt, they can't deal. Hence why you see such a rise in teen suicide. Their fragile physche can't handle it.

Is bullying right? Am I saying I advocate bullying? HELL NO! If you are being bullied or see someone being bullied, you should definitely tell someone. But, there is nothing wrong with going up to the person and confronting them. Show them you are not scared of them and they can't hurt you. Bullies lose interest fast if you don't cower like they want you too. If all else fails, pop em in the mouth. When I was growing up, you tried setting things the correct way and when that didn't work, it was 3pm at the flagpole. Most of the time, the bully is all talk and wouldn't show...or they would, but wouldn't really hit you....and then they lost all their power. I like how it's talked about more in school's these days. I like how teachers are more vigilant and that there is "no tolerance" rules, but parents? You need to seriously let your children know, this is all part of life and to man up because it surely doesn't get any easier and if you can't handle some kid calling you fat, gay, sissy, beanpole, nerd, whatever, you will NOT be able to handle even a job at McDonald's.

Now, on the the "G" word.

Gay.

That's so Gay. You're so gay. So on, and so forth.

I have a gay cousin. One time, I slipped and said that something was "gay" around him and I got so embarrassed. He told me, "If I said "that's so hetero", would you be offended?" and I said that I would not be. He said, "Ok, because it's just a word, right? and in my context, you know that I am not bashing heterosexuals" and I said yes. He said "Well, that's how I take the word "gay". Gay means happy anyway. Homosexual means my sexual orientation. My friends and I say "That's gay" all the time".

That's how I feel. I say it too. Not as much as I used to, mainly because I am sick of having the same argument with the same stupid people over and over again. However, I do say it. It's a manners thing. It's also a preference thing. Some people don't like the word "stupid" and others don't like "retarded". That's your choice and if you teach your kids that those are "bad" words, that's your choice too, and I respect that. I don't care either way. If I know one of my friends doesn't like those words, I try not to use them around them out of respect I have for my friend. However, if they came at me like some sort of word police telling me what I can and can not say, on my facebook, in public, in a private conversation with them or someone else, to that I am going to say that I am a grown ass person and can say and do what I want with in the realm of the law.

I can't STAND when people try to insert their personal beliefs, by force, on others. I think it's wrong to kill an unborn baby, but it's legal, and if you chose to do it, I'm not going to stop you. The "N" word makes me cringe, yet I have African American friends who call each other that all the time. Now, do I think that they think of each other a oppressed, ignorant slaves? No. I know that it's just a word they call each other. Even if I walked up on two black people standing on a street corner and one said to the other "What's up, my N****?" I would know, that it was a greeting, meaning no harm or hate. Same thing with Gay.

If I say "Gay people Suck!" That's hate. If I say, "That's so gay!" then, it's just a word to mean it's lame. Or, it could even mean, it's hip. I just can't stand all the censoring not to hurt people's feelings. Grow up and get over yourselves. Stop picking apart every little thing people do. Seriously.

/ end rant.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Birthday Hangover

Wow! We had an adventure filled weekend!

And I'm 30. THIRTY! It's weird to say it. I don't feel any different..but yet I do.

I can tell you one thing, I can't hang like I used to.

Friday night, Miss A, Bee, and Grandma Bee all went to the Improv comedy club. We had an 8pm show (I might be on TV! They filmed the whole thing and were getting crowd shots!) and then, we drove out further west to go see Bee's brother's band. By the time we got there (it was right around 10:15pm) I was already tired. Don't get me wrong. I love seeing this band play, but I was so dog tired....I had one beer with Miss A, and we all left shortly there after. Bee drove us all back to our house and I was fast asleep in the back of Grandma Bee's car by midnight.

Midnight!

I think I hear my 24 year old self crying softy and revoking my Rock star card.

Anyway, we came home, went to bed, where I immediately fell asleep in bee's arms while he was still talking to me and monkey toe-ing me. I swear, if something ever happens and he loses his hands, he will be fully functional with his toes. :)

Saturday I was going to sleep in, but the pure excitement of the day woke me at 8am. I made breakfast, did laundry, made the kids go play outside because they were driving me crazy, took C's uniforms and equipment back to her coach, and got back home to take a shower. I got ready, and still had 3 hours until BFF Rose was going to be there! She did eventually get there and we headed off to get my tattoo, which was my present from BFF Rose.

I'm not gonna lie. I was nervous. I don't like pain and I am kind of a wuss. As first, I also didn't like that I couldn't watch (that would be the control freak in me...), but in the end, I think it worked out better :) On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most pain I have ever experienced, I would rank this between a 4 and a 6 depending on what part he was working on and where it was. After he was done, it felt like a mild sunburn. Not bad at all :) I am VERY happy with it :)





We came home, and Bee got back from his meeting and brought me for my birthday: A tube of anti-bacterial stuff for my tattoo, a 2 liter of Diet Coke, Lindor truffles (my FAVORITE), a polo shirt like his that I tired to steal, a card that he actually wrote words on that made my eyes leak a little bit, and a potted rose bush :) Then, even though he was tired and wanted to play his new game the rest of the night, he went to the bar with BFF Rose and I and was our Diet coke drinking DD :) BFF Rose and I had several drinks and ate copious amounts of bar food. I barely made it to midnight though. I was soo tired. We did a shot for my birthday, and then came home. Passed out again a happy happy girl.

This was my card that Little Man made for me. It was wrapped around
my Present!
Sunday was to be my day of rest. We slept in until 9:30am. Then, after some "suggestive selling" from BFF Rose and I, Bee made us breakfast. After that, I did laundry, cleaned my kitchen, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher about 8 times, AND cleaned out Bee's dresser, all while visiting with BFF Rose before she headed home for the day. I got dinner in the oven and then a couple we're friends with came over and we hung out and had dinner. It was a late night, but that's ok because we all had a good time :)
He made it with his Bionicales. Then, proceeded to make me about 15 more gifts
throughout the day :)

Today I sit here, wanting to nap for the next 2 days, but I know I can't. Another side effect of growing older...being so tired, yet too many responsibilities to sleep!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thirty, Flirty, and Fabulous




Well, I've made it.

I've officially turned 30. It's kinda strange knowing I am no longer in my 20's. I am now an adult. The same age as my mom when she got pregnant with me.

Weird.

 If you would have asked me ten years ago as I was just turning 20, I would tell you that at 30 I,

- Would be married
- Have kids
- Have a "real" job
- Have a College Education
- Own my own home
- Have a decent car

In Reality,

- I am NOT married, but who knows..
- I do NOT have biological children
- I do NOT have a "Real" job in the sense that I went to College for it
- I do NOT have a College Education
- I do NOT own my own home
- I do have a decent car :)

However, when I take a look at what I do have....I have my wonderful Bee, we share a home that we love and that we rent, with his three awesome kiddos. I am employed by a company that cares for me, even though they drive me batty. It certainly pays the bills and offers a few perks to boot. Sometimes, I think College is over rated...I mean, unless you plan on being a doctor or a lawyer...and home ownership over over rated too. We love our landlord. He's awesome. He plans on renting us this house for a long long time...I hand him my rent check, and if something breaks or the roof leaks? It's on his dime. Not mine. And he has a lot more dimes than me ;)

I am sure I will have the first two things on my list. However, they take time :)

30 years. I just can't stop saying it. I have been here for 30 years. On one hand, it scares the bejeesus outta me, but on the other, I am kind of excited to see what this next decade will bring. I am no longer a child or a young woman, I am simply a woman...and I kind of like that :) We are like a fine wine, we only get better with age.

In honor of my 30th, I would like to share a list of 30 important life lessons I have learned ...



1. Mom and dad may not always be "right", but they always know what's best.

2. Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize.

3. You may be able to "handle it" on your own, but it's always best to lean on your best friend when times get tough, good, sad, whatever.

4. A hug will always make anything better

5. Good Vodka and Good wine. 'Nuff said.

6. Laugh like no tomorrow, cry like no one is around, and have inside jokes!

7. Surround yourself with good people!

8. Always make the effort. Even if no one else is. At least YOU can sleep at night.

9. I do not like seafood. At all. No matter how you cook it or hide it. Yes, this even means shrimp and talipa. I don't care if you think it tastes "just like chicken" I can tell. I can ALWAYS tell.

10. Water may be good for you, but Diet Coke tastes better :)

11. Best Hangover cure in the world: Two Tylenol with your first beer. Two before bed, and you'll be fine (your liver, probably not so much...but..)

12. If you forget the information above, and wake up with a hangover, Gatorade. Tastes nasty, but it WORKS. Or, if none on hand, LOTS of water and greasy food.

13. With children, always bring a spare. Spare blanket, Spare Coat, Spare Clothes, Spare toy.

14. Keep a towel in the car. Always.

15. Live on a budget. Seriously.

16. When dealing with the Government, IRS, DMV, Gas company etc, ALWAYS keep a copy, and make note of your confirmation number.

17. Take time to stop, if even for a second, everyday to take in your surroundings. GOD did this. All of it.

18. Keep your bank account in line. Always. Less stress that way.

19. Don't worry about things you can't fix or can't fix right now...worrying does nothing but upset YOU. (Still working on this one!)

20. A glass of wine with a friend solves most of the worlds problems.

21. Honesty is always best. Lying is too hard.

22. Never put anything in writing that you wouldn't stand by.

23. Gossip is fun, unless you are the one being gossipped about.

24. One GOOD friend is better than fifteen so-so friends.

25. Family is always there. No matter what.

26. Pick your battles. People will take you more seriously.

27. You can't make everyone happy, so it's best to focus on the one person who means them most and make THEM happy. YOU.

28. People don't change, for the most part, they just get better at hiding their flaws.

29. Treat people, especially those who are handling your food or various accounts with your utilities, with kindness and how you would like to be treated. You get a lot farther with a funny joke, or a cherry tone, than to start yelling. You are a number on a page until you make them smile. Then all doors open up.

30. Start every day with Thanking God. It gets the day off to a good start! 

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Let's do the time warp again!

With my parents "moving" to Arizona, they've been cleaning out the house. My mom found a box with a ton of pictures in it, and we all took a trip down memory lane. It makes me laugh, some of the things below, and I just think, what will my kids think at 30 seeing pictures of them this young? :)Anyway, enjoy!



Why yes, my Dad did like tight shirts and had a beard that could rival all  beards!

Dear 1970's, Nice car, Nice hair, Nice Pants, nice shirt! ~ Love me

For someone who hated hippies, my poppy sure took to the 70's styles like he was born for it!

What's so funny, Duke?

Grandma Doris. My mom's mom. She was kinda what the people of her day would call a Harlett. Ah, thata girl :)

Grandpa Jim. My dad's dad. He looks like he is going on Safari...but really, he's just a Marine and that's what they wore.

Don't act like YOU didn't have a giant, non-working floor model tv, with a smaller working TV placed atop it!

Even at 5, I was sassy...and stylish.

Mercy! Look at that flower! And those overalls! And that Flannel! And my He-man Haircut. Why, God, WHY Couldnt I be he-man?!

Told you I was a fat kid ;) and LOOK at how fat my dog was...ahahaha!

Hello, Doll face!

My mama LOVED this dress...I think it's featured in like 25 more pictures :)

I was 9 and at a birthday party. I was "Dolly Parton" until one of my balloons popped and  then I told all the adults I was Nancy Ragen......seriously...(I was always looking for an audiance )

I am SO rocking this romper...and do you like my SKATES! I will challenge you to a SKATE OFF!! But, only in the grass, and only if my dad can help me as I cross my driveway.

"Memory", anyone?

Three days before my 3rd birthday and I was KILLIN those knee socks!

Presents, anyone?

Pepi, my horse :P

Mine was a life of leasure

I've always known how to work it for a camera....and those sheets? Ah, the 80's...at time where sporting Rainbows just ment you were trendy..

yeah....

I've mentioned a few times here about winning this rabbit. Well, here's the pictorial evedence.

Seriously, why was I not afraid of him? He had RED eyes, and look, he's snarling!

Thanks for the Support, Dad

There is so much flannel being WORKED in this picture...

With those wings, I am surprised they let him hold me, for fear he'd fly away with me!

Me and my Bethroved. Well, until he turned 8 and found out you had to have SEX when you got married...and he was having NO part of that. I was ok with it though because no "woman of his" was going to work. Ah, innocence...

My mama and me. She is the ahe I am now in this picture...

My mama and I. She was in the Hospital for something...I'm not sure...she was in the Hospital a lot.

It was pure horror or tears everytime I held my sister..

I was trying to sell her....

Me and my hair were helping Uncle Steve make Ice cream toppings

I was 5 and really rocking my Rainbow bright shirt!

Same Birthday, but it was my school party that was held at the same McDonalds (it was the first one to have a play room! 8 years before the times!) my dad had his stroke at about 6 months later

Mom and dad workin their outfit selcetions for someone wedding.

My Cousin, Terri. Her daughter looks JUST like this

My brother and his awesome sweater...

Friday, November 12, 2010

Friday Fourteen??

I didn't do a Thursday Thirteen. Actually, I haven't done one in a few weeks.

I don't like to be labeled or compartmentalized. Tied down or committed to one thing.

Actually, I just have the short term memory of a knat.

Anyway, because I lack the ambition to use a thought process and actually put together an entry, I am going to do a "Friday 14" so I have an excuse to make a list. There's not even a spunky graphic. I think I may be treading on unknown ground! I could start a trend!

Or maybe just my list...


1. Tonight kicks off my weekend of Birthday Celebration. We, as in Bee, Myself, Miss A. and possibly BFF Rose, will be going downtown for a comedy show! We will be seeing the lovely and talented Tammy Pescatelli.

2.I am super excited because I haven't seen Miss A since I "met" her and we have been dying to get together!

3. Bee will be in his glory. Three ladies. Drinking.

4. I have a strange feeling something is awry. Bee has been super lovey lately. Like, more so than usual. Telling me how much he loves me...then double and triple checking that I in fact love him as much as he loves me too. Then, Tuesday, just 5 days before my 30th birthday, he was borderline panic stricken (though, trying not to show it) looking for his wedding ring. I've never heard him even talk about it before. He said he wanted to find it so he could take it to the pawn shop and sell it. While we are not able to just go out and spend money on whatever, we aren't desperate or anything. We have food, milk, and bread and we get paid on Friday.

5. My birthday is Sunday, but he had enough money to buy his video game, so I am assuming he had enough to set aside for a present or something and he always told me "Pawn Shop Rings are the best. You can get a good deal on a great ring". And twice now this week he's gone out after work and did "errands"

6. I could be totally getting myself excited for no reason. ha! The wedding ring, which I eventually found Wednesday night, is still on our dresser.

7. BFF Rose is taking me to get a Tattoo on Saturday as my birthday present. My first ever! Pictures to come!

8. I found out, after 3 years of working here, our copier/scanner will scan and email pictures...in color. Just wait, blog. I will have some treasures for you in a day or so! ;)

9. Bee asked for coffee yesterday morning. So, since I had to stop and get gas on my way to work, I got him a coffee and went to see him at work. He kissed me and put his forehead on mine and said, "You look just like a Cyclops. Baby, if you WERE a Cyclops, you would still have the prettiest EYE around. My cute, one-eyed Princess" Swoon! haha!

10. A girl I went to high school with who was a "friend-a-emy" of mine found me on Facebook the other night. Here's the thing, we were close, but she was a troubled child. She didn't get along with her parents and was always running away. She started breaking the law and that's when I kinda distanced myself from her. We had a big blow-out fight the year after I graduated. About a year and a half later, my mom said she stopped by the house looking for me while I was at work. She wanted to make amends and apologize. She was on her way to rehab, then jail. She was a mama, and wanted to make things right. I got to talk to her 2 times about 6 years later...and then disappeared again. Until now. It's nice to talk to her, but it's really sad to see/hear what she's gone through, and what she still goes through.

11. Bee and I (he didn't know until this weekend...not like he will lift a finger..) are hosting Thanksgiving this year. We have the square footage and the table space. My mama is coming out to help, too. However, this Thanksgiving has the makings to be quite special. If it all works out, at some point throughout the day, I will have : My mom, dad, sister, brother and his family, Bee, The kiddos, Bee's mom, and Bee's two brothers and their wives. All at one time, hopefully. How awesome :)

12. My nagging finally worked. Bee had me call and schedule him an appointment at an orthopedic surgeon's office to get his finger and hand looked at. Mr. I-Can-Do-It-Myself, broke his finger this summer, set it HIMSELF, and did it wrong. Now it's healed at a perfect 45 degree angle and he can't straighten it. Not to mention, I think part of the tendon snapped off and sitting at the base of his finger. It's hurting him, along with the tendon damage he already has in his hands from carrying drywall for 15 years.

13. I love how he trusts me enough to go see this doctor, knowing he will have to have surgery. He is trusting me to take care of us while he's out of work. That makes me smile :)

14. I'm starting to wonder if LeBron James was, in fact, the Cleveland Curse. Ever since he's been gone, the CAVS have been winning and so have the *gasp* BROWNS! :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why We Play..

So, after yesterday's post, I asked Bee about football. I asked him why he loved the game so much. Why is it, they in order to feed us and help keep a roof over our heads, he has to work, and his job requires much physical labor, and yet, he risks it all by going out to play that one.last.game.

He responded by showing me something he wrote right before we started dating. It kinda made my eyes a little leaky to read it. Something about how he shows his passion (and, he's not a bad writer, to boot! ;)  )

Anyway, I thought I would share it here... enjoy!

Why We Play
"When I was a boy, I stepped out onto the field. I stood between friends in the backyard and drew up plays in the dirt. We were just kids, dreaming of being men. Pushing, shoving, tackling, and running. We were neighborhood kids, playing games on the neighborhood lot. In my backyard we were heroes.

We beat each other up. Yelled and screamed. Pretended that we hated each other. But by the time our moms called us to come home for dinner we were planning the next days game. We would play til dark. We would play in the rain. We played in the snow. All for the love of the game.

In the summer it was baseball. Basketball in the spring. But we waited all year for Fall. The leaves would change and the footballs would come out of hibernation. The jerseys would come out of the dressers. The old pants and sweatshirts would come out of the closet. Mom would stock up on bandages and make sure she had a bag for ice.

When high-school came and two-a-days hit, we hit each other like rams in a fight. Battering each other senseless. Trying to kill the very guy that would have your back on Friday night. We would jockey for position, trying to be the star. Competing for that glory and fame. We tried to make sure the cheerleaders all knew our names.

As much as we competed and fought with each other, if we were out on Saturday night and ran into a rival we had each others backs. A fight among friends, on your home turf was one thing. But the enemy was another. If I got in trouble with the guy from another school, my neighbor was there to have my back.
Some of us left for the military, some for college, some stayed home and learned on the streets. But whether we were in some kind of uniform or just the neighborhood gang we were still a team. We still had each others backs. We were still a team.
You never forget your teammates. They never forget you. They always remember. There was good, and there was bad. But somehow the bad is forgotten, and either the good or the embarrassing are all that remains. We played for many reasons. And some of us still do. But when we were young the only one that mattered was the most important one. And it was the same for all of us then, just like it is for us now.
It was all for the love of the game. "

- Bee

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Now What?

Well, it's done. Officially done. What will we do with ourselves?

Football is over.

Done.

Fineto.

Fin.

Well, until January that is :) C's team played their final game of the year this weekend and Bee doesn't have another football related game/practice until after Christmas. Then, once January starts, we have indoor flag, and we will start indoor training and conditioning for Bee's team. Of course, we always have NFL Football. And the Turkey Bowl. And I can guarantee you that if another owner called up Bee on the phone, tonight, and said "Hey, let's get a game for the weekend, or Tomorrow" Bee would be there, with bells on, and at least 11 guys to field a team.

It's weird to me how these guys will do anything for one last game. No matter how old they are. What is it about the game that is so compelling? I mean, I know it's fun to watch. I get caught up in my black and gold teams. I live and die through them too, but honestly, what makes you keep wanting to strap up and get out there when it's cold, hot, snowy, raining, hailing, whatever? Why is it these guys will give up time with their family, their Xbox, their girlfriends/wives, sleep, TV and risk their health for this game?

I know a guy, one of Bee's friends, who is in his late 30's. He has a wife, a business, 4 kids, and a house. He plays semi-pro football and in the first 3 minutes of their playoff game, he tore his Achilles tendon. It snapped and rolled right up like a cheap set of window shades. He couldn't walk or control his foot. He had surgery and now has an incision that is 13 inches long. He spent 6 weeks in a wheelchair and is now just getting to the point he can rehab it and walk on it. Doctor says he was lucky he is able to walk on it again, he will be lucky to get 75-80% of mobility to the foot back, and should he get that or more, he should definitely NOT play anymore because should it get hit again, they probably won't be able to save the tendon. He's hitting the gym and training for next season. Say's he'll be back, better than ever.

Stupid? Sure. However, Bee would do the same thing. What is it that is so seductive about this sport? You don't see baseball, basketball, rugby, tennis, or soccer players act that way. For those who have played the game, they often refer to it like a battle or a war when you are in the huddle or on the sidelines, yet it really is nothing like that. Ask anyone who's actually BEEN to war, yet, every player I know, treats his teammates like a brother in arms.

It's perplexing to me that after a week or two, Bee starts to get the "itch". I've never had anything in my life like that...however, I think it's great he does. I love supporting him and his interests, and to be honest, what girl DIDN'T want to date the football star??

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wasn't I JUST saying...

So, about two months ago, I wrote an entry about needing a friend. Someone who understood me. Someone who was happy to talk when we could get a few minutes, but would not hold it against me if it had been a few days since we talked. Someone who "got" my situation with Bee and maybe even was in a similar situation. Someone who was close enough in physical distance that we could grab dinner without an overnight bag in tow....

God always listens. He always knows what we need when we need it. Two things have happened since that post.

BFF Rose and I have sat down and hashed out all the events of this summer. This time around it was her doing the apologizing. Last year at this time, it was me. I guess we are both growing in our friendship and learning to adapt our friendship to our changing lives. She will always be my BFF Rose and she will always be like my sister, even if we don't talk every day or see each other every day. Our friendship has survived so much in the past 6 years,  I am pretty sure it will never ever break. And for that? I am most thankful.

The second thing that has happened is, I think I have found the exact friend I described in my post from two months ago.

The weird thing is, I've sort of have known her for awhile. However, the three or four times we've met, I was drunk, in the middle of team stuff and couldn't really socialize, drunk, or arrived as she was leaving.

She is the girlfriend of one of the players on Bee's old team. He is considering joining the new team (and I hope he does!) but is weighing his options. Anyway, our guys are VERY much alike. They honestly, weather THEY like it or not, could be twins. They both have pasts they just can't seem to get rid of, and part of them I think doesn't WANT to...not because they want to be back with that person/in that situation, but because it's familiar and/or "easy" when you know what you're dealing with. Bee even "stole" this guy's girlfriend at one time.

Miss A and I share a LOT of the same frustrations with our men. Yet, we both take comfort in the fact that we broke up with our guys, and were chased by them until we took them back after being woo'ed and had love professed to us. (We were even "broken up" the same amount of time!) Both of our guys have made HUGE life changes in the past 6-8 months that they wanted to make anyway, but never had the motivation to do these things until it meant not getting us back.

While Miss A has kids of her own, she also knows what it's like for me because her guy has kids too. He has shared custody and has the fun of dealing with ex's, ex's family, and so on and so forth. Plus, we have so much in common otherwise! We like the same things, music, a love for Bon Jovi, and taste in fashion (although, there are some boots that I really want that she swears she will hold an intervention if I try to buy ha!) She lives close enough that we can get together for dinner, or just to hang out and we don't have to travel halfway across the state to do it, and I like that too.

She is super sweet and I am so glad I went to Bee's All-Star game and got to "meet" her all over again. I also look forward to the wonderful friendship that we've started!