Thursday, June 30, 2011

Pride is a funny thing...

From the age of 14 until I was roughly 21 or 22, my best friend was a girl named Gina. She was 3 years older than me, and I met her online, oddly enough, but we were inseparable. We hung out almost every day. She was a part of my family, just as I was apart of hers. We did EVERYTHING together and the hijinx we we pulled could fill a book.

When I was about 18, my mom repaired a relationship with her estranged sisters. It brought to my life new relationships with my cousins whom I had not seen since I was 4 or 5. In that process, I became super close with my cousin, Terri. Terri eventually moved down here and moved in with my family and I. Gina, Terri and I were an inseparable threesome! For the most part. I love Terri to ends of the Earth and back, but she is the jealous type. With love relationships as well as friendships and family. She didn't always get a long with Gina, and often found ways to pick her apart. Usually to me. Always planting a seed...

One of my good friends during those years was a guy named Tom. Tom was like a big brother to me, and before Terri moved down here, him, Gina, and I ALWAYS hung out and caused trouble. When Terri moved in, Tom fell in love! Eventually, they ended up dating, and then getting married. In the end, after 6 years together, and 4 years married, Tom split. Just one day, stopped coming home. There was a strong suspicion he was cheating, but it was never confirmed. He just stopped answering questions. I am not going to say living with, and being with my cousin is easy. 99% of the fights they had, I truly believed Terri was in the wrong. However, the way he chose to end it was not right, and downright cowardly. By this time, however, Gina and I were no longer friends. Not saying it was Terri's fault, but the seed of betrayal she planted in my head about Gina didn't really help matters...

About 3 years after that, Terri and I were out one night at our local watering hole that we went to every.murther.freaking.weekend (I met BFF Rose there!), and we ran into Gina. It was a surprise! We sorta started chatting a bit and discovered that she had the same weight loss surgery I did, at the same place, about a month a part! We started talking and realized that we could totally share clothes. We got together once after that, and I invited her to meet up with us a few times (she did) and it was kinda nice. She was married to the guy she was dating last time we were friends, and all was well. She had casually brought up about Terri not being with Tom (I don't think it was intended to "start" anything. I think it was kind of the elephant in the room because Tom always kinda kept Terri tucked away in the house dressed in sweat pants and t-shirts, and here she was dressed sexy, at a bar, hanging all over guys) Terri asked if she really didn't know what had happened. Gina said she didn't only she had heard they weren't together through the grapevine. We told her the story and she seemed shocked.

About a month later, we found out her and Tom were still good friends and they hung out quite a bit. Terri felt betrayed and like Gina was "spying" on her for Tom. As Terri's cousin and family member I felt betrayed for her (It was kind of expected of me), and we were no longer friends. Personally, I felt as if it really had nothing to do with Gina and I, and all to do with Tom and Terri. I felt like while maybe Gina should have made it known when Tom was first being discussed that they were still friends, I honestly didn't feel she really did anything so wrong as to just not be friends anymore...but I felt this undying loyalty to my cousin...I think the last time we "broke up" as friends was due to Tom and Terri as well. I don't know. I can't remember...

Anyway, the bridge back to friendship that we had started to build, quickly came down. Things were said. Nasty, mean, hurtful things, were said. I know at least on our side. I can't remember if they were said on her side, but they probably were. That was that. I was 26 when all that happened. I am 30 now. We have not spoken since. One time when I was about 27 I was going tanning at the place where I tanned, and Gina was walking in. We caught eyes for a brief second before I ducked behind the door to the room I was just in. I waited until I knew she had passed by and gone into her room (it was a VERY small hallway. We  would have HAD to interact....and I am a chicken). That was the last time I saw her.

Since we stopped talking, a LOT has happened in my life. I've grown up. I've matured. I've learned that there is only one person in charge of me and how I do things and that's me. I've learned that I can't spend my life letting other people dictate who I can and can not be friends with. I've always felt that Gina and I had no reasons NOT to still be friends. The issues were never with US or between was a;ways OTHER people in our lives that pulled us in different directions and made us feel like we shouldn't be friends. Terri is my cousin, my FAMILY, and I love her to bits. She is insecure, and comes off bossy and mean, but really...that's just the insecurity :) She is a lovely person (even though this blog post paints her in a negative's really just situational) and I would still do anything to help her out if she was in trouble. However, as life often does, we have sort of gone our separate paths in life.

She met a guy at a party who was in town visiting his sister (co-host of the party) from the town that Terri is from. They hit it off, and within 2 weeks she had quit her job here, packed up her things, and moved in with him! They now have their own place, and a daughter who just turned 3! Terri and I had been so close and so inseparable, people were worried about me in her absence. However, I was just fine. Mostly friendless (she chased off most anyone who tried to be my friend lol!) but that's when BFF Rose and I went from being friends to being Best friends because she was in a similar situation.

Anyways, Life went on. I met Bee, started my life out "here" with him, and I have tried to keep as many friendships alive that I have forged over the last several years, vowing to not let anyone get in the way of someone I call my friend. Terri and I still talk. However, instead of every day, hours at a time, it's once or twice every couple of months. Mostly on facebook, but sometimes through text. She is busy with her daughter and work, and whenever I make it up to the "D", I try to stop in and see her. We pick up like we never put down, and have a great time in few hours we spend together.

Over the past 5 years I've thought about Gina. Wondered what she was up to. I saw she had a facebook, and from time to time, I'd try to look at her page, but it was mostly private so I couldn't see much. I did notice though she got divorced and remarried and that she looked happy. I wondered if she thought about me at all. Maybe tried checking my facebook. I wondered what would happen if I friend requested her? If I messaged her? Would she lash out and be super mean? Would she accept my friend request? Would she forgive me? Would I catch heat from people for reaching out to her? Then, I've move along and say "Maybe another day".

In the two years I have known Bee, I have shared a lot about myself and who I was in my past. The experiences I've had. My funny stories. My scary stories. Happy and Sad. When I stopped and thought about it for a few minutes, I realized that 95% of my stories start with "Well, this one time, my friend Gina and I...." It sorta clicked. Life is too short. Gina and I were great friends and I honestly can't think of a time where she personally every betrayed ME personally, or hurt ME personally in any way. I also miss our friendship, and decided last night to swallow my pride and write to her. So I did. I told her I often thought about her, I was older and more mature and I figured she was too. The problems of the past are IN the past, and they weren't really ours to begin with. I said if she wanted to just delete my letter and move on with her life, than that was fine, but I wanted  her to know I was sorry we weren't friends anymore and while we don't HAVE to become super BFF again, I'd like us to at least be able to say "hi" on facebook from time to time :) Of course, this was done with buckets of encouragement from Bee who's been begging me to do this for at least 6 months....He really doesn't like to see people be mad at each other...especially since he can tell we were close once, and that Gina is someone he totally would love to meet because of some of the stories and what not I have told.

About 10:30 last night I got a friend request and a comment from her. :) She also wrote me a quick email this morning explaining that she is really busy today, but wanted to send off a quick note. She misses me and the past is the past and she looks forward to catching up. That is so very awesome to me! :)

One bit of sad news though....her mom, which I loved as if she were my own mom (and is actually the central figure in a lot of the Monkee/Gina stories) sadly passed away this Thanksgiving.

Cue the song "Cats in the Cradle".

Life really is too short ya'll. I am getting the blessing of reconnecting with a great friend. Unfortunately, due to my procrastinating, I did not get to say goodbye to her mom :(

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Terrible Two's

I think my cat is entering the terrible 2's.

I don't know how old she is exactly, but BFF Rose's boyfriend rescues cats as a hobby and checked her teeth and says she's roughly 17 months old. Good enough for me. (In a week or two I am taking her to the vet to get shots, checked, and fixed, but for now, his expert opinion is good enough.)

Anyway, her new "thing" is to demand my attention 24/7. When she doesn't get it, she claws me. Smacks me in my face. jumps into my lap and forces me to notice her. When she is not doing that, she is getting on the table. The counter. Knocking over my plants. On purpose. Seriously. She knows she is not allowed up there, but she will meow at me to get me to look at her. Jump up on the window sill where I have they set up, LOOK ME RIGHT IN MY EYES, Meow again, and knock my plants off the sill...all while never breaking eye contact. She walks in between my legs as I am walking. Meows non-stop if a part of her is not touching a part of me.

I love her to pieces, but for reals? It's light weight getting on my nerves. At least when the kids come home today they can play with her! :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

It's been quiet

Since summer break has rolled around, my kids have not spent more than one night at home at a time. They got out on a Wednesday and I those first few days two of them were at friend's houses spending the night. Then, the wee ones (C and Little Man) spent a week with their grandparents. They saw their mom (*rolls eyes*) and went camping. Meanwhile, J hibernated in her room, mostly. Then, all three went to Grandma Bee's house and have been there ever since. She is bringing them home Wednesday so they can do chores, remember what Bee and I look like, help me get the house ready for J's 18th birthday party/BBQ (we're having people over, too), and so she can get a small break. Then, Grandma Bee is picking them up Tuesday of next week and keeping them until Sunday!

Let me say this. I love my kids. I do. They are precious angels sent to me from God that didn't have to wreck my womb or my vag to be here. I love spending time with them and helping Bee raise them. However, I do enjoy when they are gone for a little while :) Bee and I have spent our whole relationship with kids in the picture. Always. At least one is hanging around somewhere. So, when an opportunity to spend a few days with just us in the house, it's nice. If we want popcorn for dinner, we eat it. If we don't eat until 9pm, so be it. If we want to grab a bite at the little Mexican joint up the street, it won't cost us an arm and a leg and we won't have to hear how they don't have chicken nuggets or mac and cheese on the menu so what exactly am I supposed to eat?

In other words, it's kind of nice......

Even though I do miss their sweet faces. :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Just Run!!

C started, 7 weeks ago, training for a 5K through a program through our county and her school called "Just Run". Being a real athletic kid, she was excited to try something new. Well ya'll, she took to it like a fish to water and is totally in love with running.  She was the only kid who made it to every single practice! They started out with 50 kids, and ended up with about 10 kids. It all came down to Saturday! She participated in her first 5k! She finished in 32 minutes flat!! She did an amazing job!

She recieved a $25 gift card from her teacher to Foot Locker for coming to every practice, and then they held a raffle and she won another one! She fully intends on doing many more 5k's and possibly even join track next year! She did so well. Way to go C!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

It's a weekly thang...

It seems like every time I get to post a blog, it just happens to be a Thursday. Wow. I suck :) It's not that I don't check here every day, because I do. It's just that...well, I don't really have much to say. Well, I always have something to say. It's just I have nothing new to say. I'm going to blame the blur that is football and summer. And the heat. And the cold. And my job.

It's been the same thing. On repeat. You see, it's like ground hogs day here. Monday morning, I wake in a fog. I go to work, with less sleep than I need. I get there and read my blogs, catch up on the chatter on the message boards on who won this week, who got their asses handed to them *ahem* Invaders *ahem* Maybe-you-should-stop-telling-people-Bee-was-the-problem-because-you-are-1and3-and-we-are-3and2-just-sayin. By that time, it's 10am. Just when I think I am going to post a blog, I get bombarded with real life work that I am paid to do. So, I put it off until the afternoon. Then, more work. Then it's 5pm. Ugh.

Then, I go home. Where it has been 107 degrees in my house. Except this last week, where I have kept my windows closed because I am cold. Because it has yet to climb out of the 50-60's. And because I don't want my cat to go into heat again, because her caterwauling at 2am is slightly annoying. As soon as I get my bonus, she is getting fixed. I have not had the gumption or the energy to do much, other than fix my family something that passes as "dinner", and retire to my chair. Where, I spend the better part of the evening swearing and cursing the person who invented camcorders and "formats", because while I can easily film a football game on anything you hand me, it's the transferring it all to my computer and putting it onto a DVD...that works in all DVD players. This is interdispersed with checking facebook and making fun of people.

By 9pm, I am falling asleep in my chair like me maw and the begging begins for Bee to come to bed with me. Bee lets me go to bed whenever I want, and a lot of nights I do just that, but I like going to bed with him, because bed time is OUR time. Those precious 15 seconds between him getting into bed, and falling asleep are mine. I don't have to share him with the kids, the T.V., the Xbox, his phone, or football. Finally, by 11pm, he is ready, and off to bed we go. He gets in bed and is usually snoring before his head hits the pillow. Me? I am wide the f*^&k awake. I lay there and think....think....think....about all sorts of crap. Now, I could understand if I was stressed. Upset. Or thinking about important things...but what runs through my head? Show tunes. Names for the dance team next year for football, how to get myself to remember better. It's quite annoying. I fall asleep by 1am or so...only to have to wake up again at 2am to pee....again. Wake up, do it all over again.

The weekends roll around, and it's go-go-go-go! I was so busy last week, I spilled a whole can of ice cold diet coke on the CROTCH of my VERY light denim Capri's. I could have not looked more like I peed my pants, than if I actually peed my pants. I didn't even give a shit. I just carried on. Bee did get me a new pair before anyone could see me, but still...

At my job, my co-worker is messing up big time. So, as a punishment, they took away one of her accounts and gave it to me. Holy S have I been busy. It's ok, and I like it, but I feel like a mad woman! :)

So, with all of that being said, I will try and post more than once a week, but for the summer, it might end up being once a week for awhile. I promise, I won't quit all together. I like to talk to much for that ;)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

My word, the HEAT

So, as per usual in Ohio, we have skipped a season again. We went from winter, to Monsoon, to oh-my-Goodness-the-HEAT! That's ok really. I am a tropical people. I got REALLY sun burnt on my face memorial day weekend. I didn't mean to, it just sorta happened. The end result? I peeled, and then I was left with a certain tanny color. I mean, it would be what YOU would look like in the middle of winter, but for me? Well, I might as well be African American I am so dark. ;)

We are supposed to get a slight break from the heat this next week. Only in the 70's. I kinda like it really sunny and hot. Makes me kinda forget the Arctic weather I must suffer through from October through April. Plus, I don't have to shovel heat. Now that Bee has put in the window unit in the dining room, being outside of my bedroom in the house isn't so bad. By the way, I'd just like to state, that me from even a YEAR ago, would never in a million years think that I would have to say things like "no central air" and "window unit" ever again. Seriously. I thought those would have gone out of style back in the late 80's with the likes of walkmen's. Thank Goodness for my sake they did not. Who woulda thought I'd live in a 100+ year old house that does not have the duct work of houses 70 years it's junior for new fangled futuristic things such as "central air". Annd, I just wrote two whole paragraphs on the heat. Just hand me my teeth and call me mamaw.

Anyway, I was home all day yesterday waiting on the gas company. Really. Who gives you a service window of "8am and midnight"?! The gas company, that's who. Seriously. I asked the lady "You mean noon, right? As in, 8am to Noon"? And her response was "No, ma'am. 8am to midnight. However, it will be done BY midnight" as if that is supposed to make me feel better. I was litterly forced to stay home all day. I didn't even want to chance being in the back of the house and having them ring my front doorbell, which, works when it wants to, and have them just leave instead of knocking or coming around back. They finally showed up around 3 and did their magic and all was well, but good grief.

I did managed to clean my house yesterday. That was a good thing considering it hadn't been done in weeks. WEEKS. I mean, I've cleaned up a mess here, a spill there, but that's it. I was starting to get dust bunnies big enough to eat me. Not to mention, we had Grandma Bee's surprise retirement party on Sunday and the 35+ adults were messier than any kids I've ever had over. My kitchen floor looked dirtier than a public restroom floor. Ugh. It's so bright and shiny now, I could probably land planes. Kids are officially on summer break though, so lets see how long that lasts.

Thank God it's Thursday, but the busiest part of my week's just about to begin!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Monkee Update

- Ms. Kitty is doing well. She, like all cats, is mostly nocturnal and wants to get into things while we are sleeping. Bee likes her in our room (I think he likes the idea of a pet at the foot of our bed.) It's been a little tough the last few night because we do not have central air. Therefore, we have a window unit in our bedroom, meaning the door must stay closed. She's been getting us up at around 2-3am because she needs to use her litter box. I am afraid to move the little box because I don't want to confuse her, and no, I don't want a second one in my bathroom, thank you. Last night it was cool out so we turned off the air and opened the windows and left the door cracked. However, a skunk came around and Ms. Kitty was going ape-sh*t and kept leaping up into the window and clawing at the screen and meowing like crazy. Ugh. BFF Rose's new boyfriend seems to think she is pregnant too. Great. I'm 50/50 on that though. I need to get her to a vet. Damn.

-Last day of school is, thankfully, June 8th. It was supposed to be June 7th, but we went over a day with our snow days so, it's time to pay the piper.I'll be so glad when it's done. 3 less lunches to pack. 3 less bedtimes/bath times to worry about. Ok, I really only worry about 2 bath times Haha! If laundry is not done by Sunday, oh well. AND they all plan on spending lots of time with Grandma Bee (who is officially retired as of May 31st!) and J with her mom, and C and Little Man will be gone at least 2 weeks with the grandparents of the year! Don't get me wrong, I love having them around, but when they are not home, I don't have to worry about serving a dinner at 8pm that consists of toast and some canned corn if I want. haha!

- Last two days have been H-O-T hot! I'm a tropical people, but still, ya'll. Don't get me wrong, I love 90+ degree days, but 90+ degrees in my  house that's not air conditioned sucks...especially when I get the urge to clean, or bake.

- Bee asked me to marry him. Monday night. Here's the thing: we were at our friend Rick's house who lives right around the corner. Rick has a big BBQ and swim party every Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day. The past two Summers that I have been with Bee, we have spent a lot, I mean a LOT of time at "Tucker's". Thing is, that was when Bee was with his old team, The Invaders. Tucker is the Center for them. He decided to stay with that team when Bee was basically told to take his ball and go home. Tucker is still good friends with the other owner and his wife. Poor Tucker feels like the kid who's parents got divorced. He asked us to come Memorial Day. However, that was the big Invaders party and after the spilt of the team until, well, now, there has been some mean, and nasty things said about Bee (As well as me) from the old owner's wife, and the "front office" of the team. As well as a few players. Honestly, Stephen, Bee's old partner I think really didn't say much. It was his wife and everyone else. ANYWAY, point being, it was an awkward situation, but we ended up going over there. We sat and talked to Tucker, his wife, and Stephen, and even the head coach, who used to be on the phone with Bee for 15 hours a week back when he was part owner (this coach was the biggest back stabber of the group after the split). It was good for them to talk. I think a lot of it was fake on their part, but whatever. Bee was nervous (he won't admit it) but as soon as we got there, he started drinking. Not that drinking is unusual at Rick's house...but baby did like 3 shots of vodka....he gets violently ill every time he even SMELLS vodka...So, after 3 shots, and several beers, we were sitting under the canopy by ourselves for a moment just kinda talking and he looks at me long and hard in the eyes...then asks if I will marry him. I said yes, of course...but while I don't doubt that he meant it (he even said he did later when I asked) , it doesn't seem to me like that was his proposal. I mean, ever since we've gotten back together, he has said to me personally and publicly, as well as in talking to our friends about me, that he is going to marry me.....someday. And that's just it. I don't think it was so much as a proposal, as it was just another way of saying "I love you". I'll start planing the wedding when an actual ring is produced...until's kinda torture to do that. Haha!

- I am about to lose my schmidt. Poor Little Man. He is the last one to leave the house in the morning...and its with me. I am usually getting ready while they eat breakfast and the girls are usually gone to the bus stop or walking out the door by the time I come out of the bedroom, so he usually gets to hear my rants because he is the only child there. I know I am not alone. I know every other mother in this whole entire universe is going through it too. I KNOW I did it to my mom and I was 150x more lazy than my kids, but for the LOVE of all things HOLY, I swear to MAUDE I am going to PHYSICALLY WHIP with a WET NOODLE the next child, no, scratch that, make it all three children because if I only caught one, it's because the other 2 did it first...who: makes a mess and doesn't clean it up, but rather looks at it, shrugs, and walks away. Who, after watching me fold the blanket, straighten the pillows, and generally pick up the living room, jumps on the couch, uses two of the pillows as pillows, and the other two for a foot rest, while covering up with the blanket...for 2.5 seconds before jumping back up and announcing they are going outside to play. Who, after I say "Please take care of that when you are done" walks away 3 seconds later, leaving it where they set it. If asked, they will say "I'll get it when I get back" Um no. How about now?! Who, after I say, every night, like a  broken record, at the end of the night, your cups must be in the dishwasher, leaves their cups on the murther.furkin.table. filled with water. Or in the mudroom. Or OUTSIDE. Or, like this morning, filled to the brim, with milk. just left. When they *know* they are not allowed to drink the milk. Why, you ask? Because I have *3* kids, who *love* milk, and at roughly $3 a gallon, I can not afford for them to use it in their cereal every morning, use it in their 234957845 boxes of mac and cheese they eat a day, use it for other cooking I do, AND for them to drink, because EVERY gosh forsaken time I let them have a glass of milk, even if I preface it with "IF YOU DRINK EVERY LAST DROP OF IT", THIS is how I find it 3 hours later...or as they are dumping it down the sink because it's "warm", after asking for a new glass and I say "IF YOU DRINK EVERY DROP". Oh yeah...and Chores. Why don't they ever DO them?! Why doesn't their Father give a rats behind? Even though he HATES to see ME get worked up and/or have to do all the I am pissed all over again...

- This weekend my siso is coming out, we have football, little man has a birthday party, and Church on Sunday (we have not been in 3 weeks :(  )  as well as Surprise BBQ for Grandma Bee's Retirement. Not enough time in the day...