So, I haven't been a bride to be even 24 hours and I already am having my first bout with drama.
Here's the thing, My sister's boyfriend is a good guy. I mean, I don't know him that well, and quite frankly, he is not the type of person I would find myself befriending if it weren't for my sister dating him and all. Then again, I love my sister to death, but if she weren't my sister, we probably wouldn't run in the same circles either. Nothing negative in that, just different personalities. Different likes. Etc.
Anyway, SHE likes the occasional adult beverage from time to time. However, she is on a lot of medication that doesn't mix with alcohol, so drinking needs to be a planned affair and when she does drink, she is a real light weight and like one drink does her in. If she has two, she is down for the night. HE on the other hand, is a recovering alcoholic with 10 years sobriety. It pretty much works out for them because she doesn't drink very often. However, as of late, he has pretty much forbid her to drink. At all. He doesn't like the taste of it on her or the smell of it. Nor does he like to watch her drink. Personally, I get it. I don't hold that against him. He needs to be concerned with his sobriety. He used to be ok with her coming to my house, by herself, having a drink or two, and then spending the night so he doesn't see it/smell it/taste it. Now, that's not even good enough. He has a right to feel the way he does. However, forbidding people from doing stuff when in a relationship with them, in my book, is the first step in a downward spiral.
The big contention here is that the current plan for 12/31/2012 is for me to get married at around 6pm. Then, everyone at the wedding ceremony is then invited out to dinner with us somewhere. Then, after dinner, Bee and I are going to have a party bus. On this party bus there will be partying. Hence, the term party bus. It is also New Years Eve. My friends and family don't need much of an excuse to party, but I am giving them two huge ones. Then, we are taking said party bus out to a bar...or three...on New Years Eve...needless to say, he is not comfortable with being around all that. I understand. I get it. And if he wants to leave and go home, I would not be offended in the slightest. However, the problem lies in the fact he does not want my sister to be involved in it either. He wants her to go home with him after the dinner.
Now, here is where I DO have a problem. This is my wedding. My day. My family has waited a very long time for this. They are ecstatic. They want to be a part of every bit of it. This is going to be my only wedding, and it will only happen this one time. My sister is always wanting to hang out with me and my friends, and this is the one time that I actually truly want her there. I don't think she should be denied the opportunity to hang out and celebrate with me. She's upset and he goes back and forth between trying to make her feel guilty for choosing "alcohol" over him, and being all martyr like and saying "Fine! I'll GO! But I don't feel comfortable being around all that!"
She is torn. She doesn't want to upset him, make him feel uncomfortable, test his sobriety, but she also wants to be a part of things with me. That is what it boils down to, really. She would love to drink with everyone, but it's not about that. She just wants to be a part of it. Hell, she doesn't have to drink. I probably won't be (I am still planning on trying to get pregnant starting in September, so I could be pregnant and not able to drink either).
I told her this. She needs to be there for my ceremony. I also want her there at the following day's reception. The in between? Well, I'd be nice if she was there, but I wouldn't hold it against her if she decided to go with him.
Well, if that's the worst of it, we should be good. However, we still have 5 more months to go. Hahaha!