Friday, April 20, 2012

I've done had it...

I want to stay light.

I don't want this to be a giant blog of bitch...

But I'm so angry, I am actually seething.

I was raised in a Christian household. We might not have gone to church every Sunday, but we believed in God and did our best to live our life for him and in honor of him. I was lucky because my parents loved the CRAP out of each other. They also got along really well 99.9% of the time. In my 31 years, I can honestly remember them fighting 2 times. Even then, it was over really, before it started.

Anyway, in my house or rather, in my LIFE, how I grew up (my parents, my friends, my friend's parents, my aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, etc) one thing was certain. Adults were adults. Children were children. You treated adults with respect, and they tried their hardest to protect the children. Keep them innocent. If you and your spouse hated each other or even were fighting, you did it behind the closed door. You spoke in hushed tones as to not clue your kids in as to what was going on. Sure, the kids probably knew, but you at least tried with ever fiber in your being to hide it. Protect them. Children were innocents. You treated them as such. It wasn't until I was in my twenties and out on my own that I saw my situation, my lifestyle, and that of those around me, were in the minority. Big time.

Now, I find myself in a situation. A situation that makes my blood boil in quite literally seconds. In fact, sitting here typing this and thinking about how I am going to word it, makes me so angry I could spit nails. I have three children. Three. No, they were not born of my womb. Yet, they have been dumped at my feet in need of a mother. I say dumped not to imply their father doesn't care or that he isn't as much in this situation as me, I say that because he is busy being their father. They all have mothers, but the ones they have are utterly useless.

Useless. It makes me sad to see what these precious ones have been dealt in the mothering department. I think of my mom. She is sooooo NOT perfect in about a million ways. She even irritates me so bad sometimes. However, in the mothering department? She's pretty much aces. In my sister's case, maybe a little too aces, but whatever. I only hope that I can be even 1/4 as good as her.

I am getting off track.

Anyway, useless. J's mom is out in left field. She's lazy. She is not stable, at all. Both mentally and financially. She is the type that would "borrow" or "take" from her own child. She wants J to hurry up and move out after she graduates this June so that she can get a job and an apartment (I suppose she can do college too, if she must) so that her and J's younger sister can Why? Because they don't have their own place. They haven't in the last 4 years. They go from house to house every few months staying with fellow Jehovah witnesses...J spends so much time listening to and worrying about her mother's woes that she doesn't have time, or rather doesn't feet like she should burden her mother with anything like asking for affection, motherly advice, or guidance.

Then there's the wee one's mother. The one sitting in prison. The one who is currently the focus of my ire. Here is a woman who is smart. On that whole IQ are-you-a-genius test (the real one...not the Internet kill-some-time ones) she scored 179. 159 is "Genius". This is also why she is crazy. They say the more of an actual genius you are, the closer you are to madness...our brains aren't meant to function at such a high level.

Off track again.

Anyway, she is smart. And Manipulative. Control freak. It bothers her to no end she doesn't have control over Bee and the kids anymore. We try to be nice (for the kids...certainly not for her) and give her a proverbial inch, and she takes 4 miles. She acts very entitled for someone who is locked up. She also keeps involving her boyfriend. Who is ALSO locked up (we found out it's for DRUGS). And as awful as she is. As bad as she behaves, and as much as we want to shelter the kids and not allow any contact, we also understand that no matter what, that is their mother. They love her and will always love her. If we keep her from them, it only makes them hate us. It only makes HER look more right and us more wrong. But then again, who cares what they *think*, as long as they are safe? And we go round and round...

About 2 months ago we filed a police report against her for harassment. Calling and screaming at J. Calling her mean nasty names that were so full of venom and hate, I almost thought we were speaking to the devil himself. This woman tortured and abused J for 7 years of her young life. I'll at least give her credit, she didn't take it sitting down. She gave it right back. Things calmed down a bit, she didn't really mention it too much to the kids, but she still takes every opportunity she can to degrade and dispute us at every turn. In fact, most of her letters are worked in a way so that everything she discusses, she can throw a jab at Bee or I. She is even turning them against Bee's mom. In fact, Lil Man tried hiding on the Saturday before Easter when Grandma Bee came to pick them up from Grandparents of the year. Then, when he got to our house on Sunday, he went right to his room. Not wanting to come out and spend Easter with "this" side of the family.

Last night she called while we were out, but J was home. She told her the kids were not at home and NOT to call during the week and that she knows her phone time is Sunday. Their mom went ape and the devil came back out. She tore J a new one up and down and back and forth. Then told her to tell Bee she was filing papers (for what, I'm not completely sure. It's not like the kids can go live with her in prison). Then, she called her mom and cried the blues. Her mom then called the HOUSE (which is the thing that REALLY chaps my hide because she knows WE don't answer that phone. WE have cell phones and she knows our numbers full well but she didn't really want to talk to US, or else she would have called US) J answered and then Grandma of the year, who is 64 years old, proceeded to the the devil come out of HER at J. Cussed her out, told her SHE Was the reason Bee and her daughter were divorced, and went on insulting and cussing her out.

Tell me, when is ok to speak to anyone, let alone a child like that? How are Bee and I supposed to trust you and allow you OR your daughter around the littles when you treat their sister like that? How is that right? How is that CHRISTIAN. What would the LORD think? You both seem to be such a holier than thou expert on the LORD...tell me, would HE think this is ok? I doubt it. If J's mom, or J's mom's family, or ANYONE really, spoke to C or little man and said even the PG rated things these 3 people have said to J (or me) they would shit the bed that Bee or I would allow this and have lawyers so far up our asses. Nor would Bee or I stand for that to begin with, so why is ok for J to hear it? Have it launched at her? To be the victim once again to the "S" family abuse? She had to be the whipping boy at the hands of their daughter for far to long. *I* won't allow it anymore. She is safe with us. Free. She will not be forced to take it any longer.

I have a connect friend in high places, who knows very important people. He gave me a number of a shark of a lawyer. She smells even the hint of blood in the water and she goes for the juggler. She specializes in custody and family law. Bingo. I have a phone call scheduled with her later today.

I'm done with this shit.  

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