When J lived at our house, she was dramatic, to say the least. But C, while not dramatic herself (ok, not all the time), she has more drama than you could shake a stick at. Middle school almost killed me when I was her age and I think it's back to finish the job. I was not popular. At ALL. I thought the popular kids had it all. Well, I can tell you they have it just as bad. Maybe even worse.
Her best friends? Enemies today. Sharing all of her most deepest, darkest, secrets in the whole wide world. The boys she likes, the insecurities she has. Tomorrow? They are besties again! The same girl who had my baby crying on my shoulder last night? They are teaming up to save the world at lunch time today. Don't worry though, in about a week they will hate each other again and insults will be hurled behind the backs at at the lockers of each other once again.
Her basketball team was a close knit group of girls at the beginning of the season. As the end neared, they were stabbing each other in the back quicker than you could say cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof! C had asked if she could have the team over for a party to celebrate the awesome season. Two weeks ago, 15 girls were to be taking over my house this weekend. As of today, there might be 4. Some friend of one of the girls on the team (note: Not even an actual team member) supposedly "hates" C and found out that C was having this get together for the team. To get one over on her, she planned a party at her house the same night. Admittedly on purpose and then invited everyone on the team AND all her friends. All the girls on the team are mad at C because she left after the game on Tuesday and didn't stay to watch the 8th grade girls play or get her picture taken with the team and Rose, a girl who is moving this weekend to another school. Then, to add insult to injury, one of the girls on the team who never got play time because she wasn't that good (these are C's words, by the way. Though I will admit to never seeing her out there when I went to the games) told C that she "sucked, and should just quit basketball for LIFE!" The other girls didn't say anything but they didn't defend C either which, in her mind was just as if they had said it too.
Here's where I get frustrated. I am an adult and as one, I have already learned the lesson that people like this are not worth your time, effort, strength, or loyalty. When they ask for forgiveness, it's ok to give it to them, but you don't have to be their friend, and you certainly don't take them back into your inner confidences, especially if they have done this to you on more than one occasion. Also, she she my daughter so when her heart breaks, my heart breaks. Where we differ is, tomorrow when they act like nothing happened, she is just as happy and content to do the same and they are all back to being BFF's again. Until someone does something the other doesn't like and then the heard mentality kicks in and so goes the cycle again.
I know this is what shapes every kid into the adult they are going to be. I also know, it takes thick skin to make it out here in the big bad world. However, it still hurts to see my daughter give so freely every single time and to be hurt over and over again and know that eventually she is going to be as jaded and callous as the rest of us :(