Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A sad state of affairs

I just read an article on the MSN homepage about I think I just may be sick. The article actually depressed me, and it's author, while she did not come right out and say so, wrote in such a way that I think she might have been sickened as well. If you are not sure what the site is about, it's a dating site for married people who want to have an affair, weather just online, or otherwise, without their spouse/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend knowing.

It made me really really sad. Is nothing sacred anymore? Listen, I understand not everyone is religious. In fact, many of us go to church, participate in Lenten services, don't eat meat on Fridays during lent, and even go to Church on Christmas and Easter. They also have a Church wedding because, well, that's what our parents did and that's what we want to do. Marriage, at least in a Church, in front of God's altar, is taking sacred vows in front of God. You are standing before Him making a promise to love, Cherish, honor, and remain faithful to the person next to you. Don't get married if you feel you can not hold true to those vows. Besides sparing the feelings of someone else, you won't be lying to God.

I understand people suck. I understand people fight, and marriage is hard. I understand people change, the person you swore you would love until death do you part, is now fat, tired, wore out, bitter, busy, or just too comfortable to hold your interest anymore. Think of it this way, they probably feel the same about you. If you are that un happy, if you feel you no longer love this person, get a divorce. Let that person go, then you can be free to sleep with as many people as you like. The lying and the deceit will eat you from within. And, if it doesn't? Then you are already a sad sad person and should take a long hard look at yourself.

I know someone who is married and currently carrying on an affair with several people. I don't agree with it, but the fact of the matter is, this person is honest with their affairs (not their spouse though). It still doesn't sit well with me, but it's their life. It still doesn't excuse it though. In fact, there is a "war" taking place on my facebook about this now. I brought it up on my status and two of my friends are arguing about it. One is a woman who's husband has had several affairs over the course of their marriage. Most have resulted in children. She has stayed by his side, arguing that to her, love means accepting the whole person, flaws and all, not just the parts we like and that who defines relationships? Shouldn't we define our own individual relationships? It's a bunch of free love double talk that I think she uses on a constant basis to talk herself into accepting and being ok with her husband's choices, because he must love her. She keeps "winning". He always chooses her when the other woman forces him to pick. Well, duh. If I was a cheater cheater pumpkin eater, I'd pick the one who keeps letting me cheat too.

The other is someone along my way of thinking. In fact, our men are very much the same that sometimes I think we are dating the same person. She is as blown away by this site as I am. You know, I know some people are just going to cheat. I get that. The company president claims that 30% of registered users on dating sites are married looking for an affair, so why get upset at him for capitalizing on that? As far as the business side of it, I can't hate on the guy for seeing a market and taking advantage, because someone would have eventually, but the whole moral aspect prevents me from showing any respect. Drug abusers are going to do drugs, too. However, I don't see there being a store set up for them to buy their illegal drugs all in one place either. You may say affairs aren't illegal, but they are. Adultery is against the law.

The other problem with this is take a person who is looking to cheat. They have their minds made up that this is what they want to do. Now, website or not, they will most likely do it. However, take that person who is lonely in their marriage. Maybe they feel a little under appreciated. Maybe their partner's libido has dropped slightly and they aren't feeling as fulfilled and satisfied as they used to. Would this person go cheat normally? No, probably not. They'd wait it out, or maybe just forget about it and chalk it up to just a mood. But, now there's a website. 24 hour access to people who want to cheat. Because they themselves are cheating, they will be discrete, whereas you take the chance elsewhere that the person will become attached and rat you out. They go on just to "browse", and next thing you know, they're talking to someone and they do it.

Sure, at the end of the day, we all make our own choices. Some of us will chose to be unfaithful no matter what. I just hate that that choice is being made easier and easier, and people seem to be ok with that. IF monogamy is not your thing, fine. Don't get married. If you are already married? There is a beautiful thing called divorce.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I totally agree. If you are not honest with and faithful to the person you've committed to, you do not deserve the honor of marriage.