Sunday was a strange day. It started out with such promise! Bee and I woke up, got ready for church and headed out. It was a wonderful service and God really spoke to me through Pastor Mike. And the music. God always talks to me through music. Which is funny, because outside church, I can't stand most Christian music. We shook hands with many Steelers fans, and got playful jabs from Packers fans. It was nice. Bee even is starting to feel comfortable enough to sing along. He's cute too, because he tells his friends how he's a Baptist now. Hehehe.
After church, we went to the store to get the items needed for Buffalo Chicken dip and a few things we were out of that we needed for the kids such as cereal and bread. Darn kids. You have to like, feed them and junk. Then, we went and got the two small ones who spent the night with the Grandparents of The Year. They had gone to see their Mother of the Year, the day before, so you can tell how AWESOME I was feeling about this whole thing. Anyway, we left to go watch the Super Bowl.
It was from the moment that we pulled up to get the kids that the evening turned to less than desirable. Starting with listening to the kids talk about how awesome Grandma and Grandpa's was. How they got a HUGE cookie ("Cookie cake") just for them, and how super cool "Uncle" came in for a quick visit too. Then, the Superbowl. My Steelers couldn't quite get ahead. I can't handle the rejection or the hurt feelings. Then, 15 minutes in my Brother starts texting me.
I love my brother, and I should state that we are super close. Like best friends, but he is not really emotionally stable and considering him and the mother of his little girl, just broke up, for the second time. As per usual when you fight with someone you love, you say things to hurt them that you mostly do not mean. However, you are angry and feel the need to lash out. His girlfriend did that to him, and he felt the need to do it to me. He spent the evening going back and forth with ragging on me because of my team, and verbally assaulting me as to where I live (and hour away from HIM) Who I choose to be with (he doesn't like Bee. Mainly because he feels he's not good enough and me being with him requires I sacrifice things like my freedom and money for him and his kids while not sacrificing anything. He also doesn't like the way he talks to me. These things are from his skewed perception though) How I chose to ignore him and the rest of the family and abandon him in his time of need. How he is alone, so very alone, and no one cares, but it's ok because he's used to it. Boy how I have changed.
Needless to say, it was all a little over dramatic. Note, he did seem to forget the fact that when he was in the height of his happiness with his ex, no one in our family, including me, threw a fit when he opted out of family dinners/holidays/affairs due to spending time with HER family. No one seemed to cry and kick their feet when he didn't call all the time or go out every weekend with us like old times.
But we forget the things WE do.
So, eventually, I ignored his text messages and went about my despair watching the game and the lame ass commercials. Then Bee decided to get the mail on his way back from the gas station. He, like me, is pure laziness, so he pulled up alongside our mailbox, which is on a post that we share with our neighbors across the street, to retrieve the mail. Only problem was, he hit the mailboxes with his mirror because he was too close and got stuck in the snow. In order to get out, he had to gun it while alternating between drive and reverse, and "rock it out" which utterly DESTROYED both mailboxes. Our neighbor's didn't fair as well as ours being that it was made of thin metal. It was all bent to hell, and combine that with frustration, and the loss of our beloved team and Bee was filled with rage, yelling at the "DAGUM FARGEN PIECE OF TARP MAILBOX!" And it's makers of Asian decent. In the middle of my amusement from the Mailbox Showdown of '11, my brother called, which was unfortunate as I was about to go to bed, but since I made a big deal of "YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CALL ME SOMETIMES! I'M ALWAYS HERE!" I felt it best to answer.
We were on the phone until almost one. He did a lot of laughing, a lot of crying, a lot of unintelligible ranting , and then discussions of death in such a calm and percise manner, it was like he was reading an instruction manual. But not a REAL instruction manual, for he was speaking in English. I swear, he's losing his marbles. I think he just may be loonier than a toon. When I finally got him off the phone and went to bed, it was almost one am. I laid down and got all comfortable and my Murther Fargen tooth started hurting. I got up and took three advil, and went back to bed where I lay, miserable for 3 hours.
And That could be why I can't stay away today :(