Thursday, March 10, 2011

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Ok, so I text. A lot. It's what helps get me through my day. Seriously, if I didn't have the Internet and my phone, I would die of boredom at work. There is not enough to do, at least for me, to keep my occupied. My work gets done, no doubt about it, but there is lots of down time. So, I check in with friends, or facebook or whatever.

My phone has this neat little ability to show you, when you hit "send" on a message, your last five texters (unless you hit "reply"). On more than one occasion, I have sent a text message in my blur of texting fingers, to the wrong person. Wouldn't be horrible, except I am usually talking about the person I accidentally sent it to. Now, when I say "talking about" them, I literally mean that. It's usually nothing life shattering and it's never anything vicious, but sometimes, it could be hurtful. Even if I am saying it in a playful way and meaning it in a playful way.

Two people I text the most are BFF Rose and Bee. SEVERAL times I have sent texts to Bee that were supposed to go to BFF Rose. Yeeeeeeahhh....Now, I don't really ever "talk bad" about Bee, so it's not life shattering, but I have said things in a straight forward, harsher way when talking to BFF Rose, than I would have if it were Bee. I also might have poked a little fun at him once or twice to her and it ended up going to him instead.

Today, we were having a discussion about an ex of mine and I said some harsh things. Things I would probably have no trouble saying to him directly, if he ever slimed out of the current hole he was in regarding me being prettier than his ex'es/past conquests and how it's not hard because my bathroom sponge looks better. Catty, I know. However, the text went to Bee instead of BFF Rose and well, he thought I was referring to him....especially since I have made no secret about his ex'es being um..let's just say unattractive,  and I think he was hurt.

I immediately laughed it off when he text me back to let me know, and informed him of the conversation and how it came to that point, and his response was "" So, I think he believes me (I hope so! Because for once, it wasn't him lol!) and then, the guilt set it.

I was being catty, rude, and snotty. At the expense of someone else. Sure, it WAS at an ex, who is a d-bag, but I am told by God to turn the other cheek, not to gossip, or spread rumors...and on top of it, if even for a minute (hopefully) my baby, whom I love more than anyone or anything, thought it was about him..and that makes my stomach turn.

If anything, this is a lesson in not gossiping or making rude comments about never know who may be listening...(or who your fat finger will send it to...)


Sarah said...

I hear you...we all do that to a certain extent, so its a natural human behavior we have to guard ourselves against. That moment with Bee was an important one, and it's so good that you are reflecting on it, and I need to as well! I'm guilty of that at times too.

That lesson was driven home to me, although in a slightly different way, when a "friend's" husband googled us when we were providing child care for them. (I think I shared this with you before...) The search turned up information on another Dave Nosek who had a questionable police record. The friend and her husband proceeded to tell two other friends that they should not let their kids play with ours because of this information. A few weeks later they found out that this information was incorrect, but failed to correct the information with one of the friends. My kids, my husband's business, and our reputation could have been irreparably harmed because this gossip could have spread EVERYWHERE! I still struggle with forgiveness in this instance because an apology has never been offered from this woman, although I am working at giving forgiveness and peace without it. I do keep our family at a safe distance from this couple because I don't trust them. I am just trying to learn what the lesson is in this...I am trying my hardest to not talk about other people, although it's hard when it seems just fun and innocent, which is what it seems in your situation with Bee, and what I struggle with too. It's a challenge, but it's an honorable one to have. :)

Amander said...

Ohhhhh...I have done this type of thing several times before (mostly in email and IM form).

Even when it's true, or I would have said it anyway, it NEVER felt good to inadvertantly say something that might hurt/embarass someone and make me look like an ass :).