Because I'm sick, damn it!
1. I am on what feels like day 109 of this God forsaken sickness. Just when I get to the point in the day when I start to feel like maybe I am on the road to recovery, I start to feel crappy again. Ugh!
2. Sick or not, I am having my Girls Night Out tomorrow. Miss A. has Friday nights free every other Friday. As of late, we have been taking turns coming out to see each other. We usually do dinner, then back to the "host" 's house for a glass or two of wine. The past couple of times it's worked out to where Bee had something going on that night too, so I didn't feel guilty leaving him, and yet, he was occupied and so was I. It also makes me feel like I have something that's my own activity without him. Makes me feel like I'm my own person. Not, that being with him isn't great, because it is! However, I moved an hour away from everything and everyone I knew to be with him and help him raise his kids. I lost myself a little bit becoming so absorbed into his life. Not a bad thing, but I do need a few things to be "monkee" things only..if for no other reason than my sanity ;)
3. Work is going to drive me to drink. Between trying to implement a new system and having to "double entry" everything, to having the "bond Nazi" email you to death if you forgot (or in my case, ran out of time) to double enter stuff. Also, sometimes workin here feels like I'm back in Jr. High. There was an incident today at lunch. Someone was upset that someone else (who has full rights to be there, just like anyone) was sitting at the table they always sit at. There was a hissy fit, some whining, and some complaining. Good grief, Charlie Brown.
4. Being sick, I have lost the energy to care....about anything. Shoes by the door when I walk in? Whatever. Dishes left on the table? Who cares! Coffee? I'll the the whole pot! Vitamins? Who needs those? Little man "sneaking" the fact that he has worn the same outfit or a slight variation of said outfit to school 4 days in a row? NO BIG DEAL! Dinner? On your own, folks! Leaving the house looking like death? Sign me up! At least I shower and brush my teeth...
5. My Niece turned one yesterday. Her party is Sunday. I was invited, but I am not going. My reason is that I am sick. But, that just happens to be a coincidence. The real reason is that the mother and my brother are no longer together. It has been a messy couple of weeks. While I LOVE my brother, he is clearly being the Jackhole in the situation. I don't know why the split, or who's "fault" it was, but HE is the one acting like a 5 year old. He was even invited to the party, up until about a day or so ago when he caused a big scene which caused her father to step in and remove my niece from between them because they were having a tugging match on her carrier with her in it. If I was well, I feel like going to the party at her house (my mom is having one at her house for my brother and our friends and family) that I would be seen as "taking sides". I DID email Jessica and tell her I will always consider her as family and her other daughter my niece as well and to let me know if she needed anything ever.
6. Speaking of my brother. He always lashes out at me when he's angry about anything. Why? because that's how he deals with anger/sadness/frustration and he knows that of everyone, I will stick around. Maybe it's being an enabler...maybe it's being a good sister. I don't know. But it's getting tiresome. He hates Bee (he's met him twice), he hates that I moved away, he thinks Bee doesn't really love me or care for me (like I said, met him twice), and he thinks I am "blind". This time around, I don't know how long I will take his abuse. I love my life, I am happy with all my choices, I have no regrets. He needs to be happy I am happy, even if he doesn't agree with my choices. I know I have never agreed with his choices, but I have always been happy and supportive of him no matter what.
7. I am really kind of into American Idol this season. Only thing is, I am usually a day or two behind with them recorded on my DVR. I hate when people talk about it the next day because chances are good I have yet to see it!
8. C had her "Walk in Their Shoes" even last night. She served a meal to handicapped kids, did laps around the track, and listened to a marching band that was made up of all blind kids! She had a blast! She got a pin and a tshirt too. She is so proud of them. I am proud of her.
9. I have a bad case of spring fever. The sun has been out, and that makes me want to open my windows and get the stale, germ ridden, air OUT of my house. Problem is, it's only been 30 degrees :/
10. Saturday after Bee's Flag game, we went three houses down to our friend's house where they were having beers by the bonfire. Yes, it was snowing. Yes it was 25 degrees with snow up to your knees, there was a GIANT bon fire so it was all good. Their dog ever joined us, wrapped up in his blankie!
11. As I grow older, I have less and less patience for anything, let alone ineptitude.
12. I really hate the fact that the Grandparents of the Year have to be so sneaky about everything. It makes the kids feel they have to be sneaky. C "snuck" a letter out to the mailbox yesterday for her mom. It's like, Bee and I got them stamps and sheets of labels with their mom's address. They need only ask for an envelope, and it's theirs. Why do you need to hide? Because Grandma (and no doubt, mom) makes them feel like they do.
13. When the first warm day hits, I am running, not walking, but running to the Sunset Grille, ordering a GIANT glass of wine, cheese and meat plate, and enjoy views like this: