No, seriously. I don't know what to tell you. THAT'S how exciting life is right now.
Well, I could tell you about my serious case of PMS that mercifully ended this morning, but not before I freaked out about a .35 cent ho-ho, had a major melt down over my lack of grammar/spelling skills and a certain person's need to follow me around the Facebook and point out every.last.mistake (like, huge melt down. Like, so big that I am surprised the warning sirens for the gigantic nuke plant that is half a mile from my house, didn't start sounding), and before taking out my frustrations from the previous two incidents on Bee for merely answering his phone.
Now I'm just left with "-MS", a huge craving for the following in no order: Chocolate, wine, chips and salsa (homemade would be preferable, but I'll take anything) and Taco Bell Catina tacos in the steak variety, which incidentally, they do not make anymore and haven't for "like, about two months."
"Dear Taco Bell,
What the hell, man?! Of all the things on your menu, with the exception on the soft taco supreme, that was the only edible thing I actually want to put in my body. That's saying a lot coming from the girl who will ingest just about anything. I actually crave your crack-like Catina tacos. Thanks for ruining my buzz, and therefore, BFF Rose's buzz Friday night. You will rue the day you haphazardly removed it from your list of wares. RUE THE DAY!
I know it's stupid, and more than likely the millions on hormones coursing though my already unreasonable system as it is, but I found myself slightly upset this morning.
Bee had been joking around with me that what if all my cravings were not PMS, and simply that I was pregnant. I laughed it off because Hello, so not the case. It physically can't happen. Ok, so, it can, but there is a .000000000000000001 chance in a million that it could. When we decide to have a baby, we will need the help of modern medicine and an answered prayer. Sure, the latter can always beat out anything, but still.
Yet, the teeniest part of me wondered. Oh well, in due time.
In the meantime, I will practice on Bee's kids.
I have spent enough time around babies to know how they operate and how to take care of them, it's as they get older that I need the practice.
I have a 7 year old who will teach me how to deal with the "why" phase of a child's life. I know they go through one at around 2. However, "because Mama loves you" will satisfy all of those "Why" questions. The 7 year old "Why" phase is a lot more difficult. Especially when the child is smarter than you. And never stops talking or asking "why".
I have a 10 year old to properly teach me how to deal with a child who's in the awkward phase of life where they are still very much a child, yet they are getting old enough to start wanting their independence. The body starts to change, they get feelings they've never had before in intervals half the speed of light. The hormones kick in, and they develop the "eye roll" and seem to perfect it in no time.
Then, there is the 17 year old who will teach me how to spot the wool being pulled over my eyes in a hot Mississippi minute. How to deal with the frustration from having a very smart child resort to the "I forgot" or "I didn't know I couldn't stay out 2 hours past my curfew" way of handling things. She will teach me how to handle having a child who dates, gets their heart broken, only to break someone else's the very next day.
All while making me love them so much, and so endlessly that I forget for half a second that they aren't perfect.......or mine :)