I have always loved my birthday. Always. I was the kid, who six months before my actual birthday, started the count down. Even as I got older, my friends would tease me, because 3-4 months before, I'd start reminding them "Hey, my birthday is in 3 months!" Their response would always be, "Yes. Yes we know. How could we forget? We can't. You won't let us."
Sorry, I'm 5 like that.
However, the last two years I haven't been as excited. In fact, I usually don't start talking about it until a week or two before. It's because I'm getting old.
Ok, maybe not old because let's face it, my mom is old. She is in her sixties! (ask me just how old that is in another 10-15 years ;) ) But, I am certainly getting older.
I will be changing over into a new decade in just a few short weeks. I'm not going to lie, it's a little scary. For the first time in my life, I haven't felt like I could consider myself a wee babe any longer. Don't get me wrong, in my mind's eye, I'm still 15 and thinking that I am too cool for school (that, that statement right there, should be #1 on my list on why I am in fact old. Who says that anymore?! ;) ), but certain things come to my attention like a big, fat red stop sign being shoved in my face that says, "Hey! you're getting too old!"
Things like: When I go to the store and place a case of beer, or a bottle of wine on the check-out counter, the cashier, doesn't even bat an eyelash when ringing me up. There is not even a shred of panic inside of my being that thinks, "Oh shoot! Did I bring my ID in with me?" Same thing when the rare occasion occurs where I enter an adult establishment such as a bar.
Speaking of bars. I haven't been to one since the summer. Why? Well, because my weekends are usually 10x busier than my weekdays, and by the time "dark time" rolls around on a Friday or especially a Saturday, I am ready for PJ's, my bed, and my Bee cuddled up beside me. In fact, last time I WAS in a bar, I think I was falling asleep on my stool and kept thinking it HAD to be last call any minute. It was 9:45pm.
I am up before the sun 5 out of 7 days, and the remaining two, 8:30-9:00am is sleeping late. Unless I am going to work, my wardrobe consists of yoga pants and a t-shirt or hoodie and I don't care one bit. In fact, when I leave the house, unless it's for a team thing (C's or Bee's), I am usually in said yoga pants and t-shirt/hoodie combo. Ten years ago, I would cry if I was forced to leave the house without my makeup on first. Now? My makeup doesn't see the light of day unless there is an event going on...and that's only if I have the time after making sure the kids are all ready and have found everything they need, and Bee has all of his stuff figured out.
Ten years ago, I would have laughed if you told me my favorite spot to be on the weekends would be at a pee-wee or semi-pro football game. In fact, I would have probably looked at you and said, "What's football?" I kid. I totally knew what football was but I probably wouldn't have talked to you, creepy future teller. Burn her! She's a witch!
I don't really drink anymore, and when I do, it's only at home. I am the responsible one who makes sure anyone who has had more than two beers is really ok or has a way home. I drank coffee at the wedding this weekend. Well, Diet Coke at first, but when the unruly hour of 9:00pm rang, I switched over to the coffee. Grandma was pullin' a late nighter!
Oh yeah, and I drink coffee. In fact, I drink so much coffee, that I had to cut back drastically (only on weekends and nights where I have to be up late) because it was giving me horrible heartburn that was presenting as shortness of breath (weird, I know..) and let's be honest, I am kind of high strung to begin with, and the coffee was just egging that part of me on. For the sake of my health and my relationship with Bee, I had to lay off ;)
Even my tastes in food and other things are changing. Clothes? Instead of low cut tops that show off two of my better assets, I am going more for higher necklines. My jeans aren't bought so tight. Food? I eat things like vegetables. I try to make sure I cook something every night. That means a main dish and at least one side. The days of fried potatoes for dinner or chips and salsa are over. Music? Well, that's the one thing that hasn't really changed, ha! I listen to the same stuff pretty much. However, all the new stuff is too lame and too loud for me. Material things? for my 20th birthday I wanted a new car, a new stereo, and Best Buy Gift Certificates to buy all my CD's. Oh, and a few bottles of alcohol too. My 30th Birthday? Top on my list are this and this. Oh, and something from here, or some place similar. hehe
At any rate, while the fact that 30 is looming on the horizon and I have nothing accomplished that I thought I would, and all the changes kinda scare the bejeezus out of me, I think I'll be ok with it. I love Bee. I love the kids, and I love our life we are starting to build. I am trying to relax, let God take the reigns, and enjoy the ride!